We tried putting it in a calculator, but even upside-down it doesn’t spell anything dirty…
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[6.56]
Iain Mew: Inventive riffing and fun syncopation! The best numbers chorus since Idlewild shouting “99887766”! The sense to get in and out quickly! A fine first impression.
[8]
Josh Love: I don’t know if 5572320 is supposed to be a phone number, but either way these girls own Tommy Tutone’s soft ass. I only wish this song was about two or three minutes longer so it had a chance to revert back to the math-rock batshittery of the opening.
[7]
Jonathan Bradley: The mathy sections are fine, albeit less intricate and efficiently executed as those of, say, Tricot. Better are the sudden divergences into indie rock in its gigantic and glacial form, as if they were possessed with a momentary urge to explore a future as a Drive Like Jehu or Joan of Arc cover band. Shouting the band’s name again and again is inspired — as both branding and chorus.
[7]
Brad Shoup: It’s punishing, but not in a showy way — listen to one of the members idly sing along with the first riff — and the vocals match. Half the song goes by with no more than single-word, tossed-off bursts to accompany. Hell, the classically pop portion of the vocal sounds like some classic emo soar. A moody move for sure.
[7]
Ramzi Awn: “Half a Century Honor Student” has a few good tricks up its sleeve, but it doesn’t capitalize on the right ones. The grit could be grittier, the drama bigger, and the chaos more exciting. A good, unfocused effort.
[5]
Alfred Soto: Google this Japanese group and among adjectives “mysterious” pops up most. No mystery: the enthusiasm and brute force of the Descendents with Kim Deal’s diffidence.
[7]
Patrick St. Michel: Nobody wants to be an idol anymore. Save for the factory-sized groups who have enough devoted fans willing to buy the same CD eight times for the honor of spending a minute reducing their favorites to zoo animals, the smart move in 2015 is to get the hell away from being tagged a J-pop idol. Groups that essentially fit that role shun the title, while others play up the fact they know the guy from Polysics, or wear shirts screaming “NOT IDOL.” 5572320 are idols, the group being a sub-unit of idol outfit Shiritsu Ebisu Chugaku, but all marketing around the group (until they “revealed” themselves at a live event recently) focused on the “mysterious” origins of these junior high school students. And it is probably a smart move for Ebisu Chugaku’s promotion company, who have had the Momoiro blackface scandal and the 3B Junior coma incident to reckon with in 2015. “Half a Century Honor Student” is…OK? It has a nice drive to it and would fit in nicely at any of the dozens of music festivals looming on the calendar. But it’s just an idol-ized (read: intentionally not as good) copy of bands such as Tricot, Shishamo and Akai Koen, among others…not to mention a bunch of defunct and indie-level bands. The lyrics are the usual cutesy idol material aimed at appealing to middle-aged men, whereas actual teenagers could just listen to Daoko. They might have grown up, but you can still watch videos of SCANDAL when they wore schoolgirl uniforms. Nobody wants to be an idol, but “Half a Century Honor Student” is all the worst aspects of idol culture pretending to be something else, wrapped up in a song not nearly good enough to save it.
[3]
Madeleine Lee: Marketing tactic or not, this is the kind of song that I always wanted to be in a band for — propulsive drums, cooly syncopated vocals, guitars forming patterns when laid on top of each other — which means there’s something in the song and performance that is able to provoke reactions besides the desired “OMG middle school girls playing guitars”. The group’s full commitment to the concept certainly helps.
[8]
Micha Cavaseno: At the rate this is becoming something I can pay attention to, I’m just waiting for Japan to provide me with an all-girl melodic version of Dazzling Killmen so I can leave behind the days of scouring noisecore blogs for 5th rate bands that listened to too much Botch and be like “I’m sorry, I’ve moved on to a better place.” Judging from this record? That’s actually REALLY PROBABLE, even if 5572320 might not even be the ones who’ll provide it!
[7]