Today we decide: dope dope, or nope nope?

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[5.62]

Jonathan Bogart: Every generation gets the Iyaz they deserve.
[6]

Micha Cavaseno: Not sure why we’re accepting nasal throwaway R&B over generic Youtube filler ‘danceable’ production, but we let Mike Posner happen not that long ago so I can’t be that surprised now can I?
[3]

Thomas Inskeep: It opens with chords very similar to those of the opening of Ciara’s “Body Party,” as played on an underwater keyboard; the motif reappears throughout the song (to the point where I think Mike WILL Made It, Future, Ciara and co. should request royalties). That, however, is an awesome thing, because “Body Party” is one of the greatest singles of the ’10s, and Shift K3y essentially takes its chassis and rebuilds it as a two-step house record: what a great idea! Shift K3y has a pretty voice, too, and sings pretty things in your ear, so it’s a win-win all around. 
[8]

David Sheffieck: Knowing nothing about Shift K3y, I was expecting another type of song entirely when I heard the deceptively slow start. But the first hook quickly elevates the song beyond its woozy, crackle-accented beginnings: a thrilling dance throwback, it’s infectious and feather-light.
[8]

Anthony Easton: The voice here is just brutal — ugly, against the grain of the song, and doing nothing to add value to the banal lyrics. Destroys what could be a slightly more than competent track.
[3]

Crystal Leww: Every critique of early 20-something Soundcloud producers obsessed with an era of R&B they don’t quite understand can be thrown at Shift K3Y, who has done everything obvious from sampling Cassie to remixing Destiny’s Child. I am tired of “My Boo” nostalgia, too, but I’m not going to be mad when it sounds as great as “Beep Beep.” Shift K3Y is certainly no substitute for new Craig David, who remains the king of UK-flavored dance R&B, and this is a cheap trick, but thankfully, the quality holds up, smooth sounding and pinging about excitedly rather than aimlessly.
[6]

Patrick St. Michel: This is the sort of song where the lyrics should be the last thing considered — “Beep Beep” is all about the music itself, fast-paced and bouncy. It sounds really good (especially the final stretch) and Shift K3y’s voice hops over it just right — which is a plus, because he sounds sort of awkward here, and it doesn’t help out the words in the actual hook, which sound like someone writing a fake pop song for a movie. 
[6]

Edward Okulicz: Having got me nicely in the mood with a cool slow jam intro, the chorus and its friskier beats put me in the mind of being tickled. I don’t like that in my pop any more than I like it in my bed, but it takes all kinds, I suppose.
[5]