“Remember when I stirred your soup? I boiled your panties, my little Betty Boop…”
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Will Adams: After two seasons on American Idol, Steven Tyler gets his own coronation ballad, complete with rewarmed Hot AC leftovers, chorus key changes, a minor chord bridge and free rein to wail as much as he wants. Jennifer Lopez must be so jealous.
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Alfred Soto: Painted corpses still twitch in repose – look at 2001’s “Jaded.” But I smelled the reek when I couldn’t disentangle Steven Tyler’s croak from the Auto-Tuned smudge of those guitars.
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Edward Okulicz: Chorus straight out of a rejected Backstreet Boys track, arranged and produced by people stuck in whatever year “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” was, sung by a lizard stuck in whatever year Aerosmith’s last good song was, and consumed by… hopefully nobody.
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Katherine St Asaph: You’d think they’d be over “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” after all these years, but time has proved it wrong. The student driver’s key change, the ludicrous ex angst, the rocklike yelps — it’s all so humorless and pointless. If Steven Tyler had moxie (not counting the invented sort for press releases), he’d have recorded this version.
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Jonathan Bogart: Where’s Diane Warren when you need her?
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Patrick St. Michel: Is Armageddon getting re-released?
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Brad Shoup: Oh no... is a country album in the works?
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