Something something title justification…
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Alfred Soto: After a stint as Grammys host in which she reminded every member of the audience how much she cared about “Kobe,” music, and honesty, she has the nerve to title a song “Underdog.” And she doesn’t disappoint: she recites a list of what a patrician considers underdogs, complete with celebratory strings and martial drums. Key lyric: “The only dream I’ve been chasin’ is my own.”
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Thomas Inskeep: The epitome of performative compassion: she’s gotta make damned certain that you know how compassionate she is, while she sits in her $20M home. Fuck this noise.
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Michael Hong: While Selena Gomez was busy executive producing a documentary about undocumented immigrants, Alicia Keys was attempting to make its end credit music. Too bad it probably would have been rejected for having far too little to say.
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Katie Gill: Alicia Keys continues her metamorphosis into that choir teacher who so desperately wants to be cool, like a less sociopathic version of Will Schuster who smells a little bit more like patchouli. This is a song that was designed to score a Nike commercial but rejected because it sounded too laid back. A college a capella group somewhere is going to have an a capella version of this song at some point. I feel like I can keep roasting this song but that’s just because it’s so easy to roast and less easy to, like, listen to.
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Brad Shoup: I love the wordless hook. That’s about it. The coffeehouse flow and clopping shrug of a Ryan Tedder backbeat make this the perfect leadoff cut for Now That’s What I Call Neoliberalism!
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Will Adams: “Underdog” doesn’t quite reach the offensive heights of “Stand Behind the Music,” but it’s no less grating in its attempt to evoke empowerment through glib sloganeering and an “uplifting” Tedder-esque stomp. If Ed Sheeran’s involvement isn’t immediately apparent, just wait for the cheap steel drums in the bridge.
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Katherine St Asaph: I genuinely cannot decide whether “Underdog” would be better if co-writer Ed Sheeran sang/rapped/jaunted through it himself; it is causing me actual existential doubt.
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Joshua Minsoo Kim: She really cares.
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