It’s Non-Threatening Boy Tuesday!…
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[5.33]
Rodney J. Greene: Bruno Mars is a total sop and I hate him. Not only that, but this song encapsulates everything which makes him detestable. That said, I like this, dammit. The tune and especially the lyric are infeasibly saccharine, but it all sounds heartfelt in spite of the bland sweetness and he performs the hell out of it. I still despise him, though.
[7]
John Seroff: Bruno Mars’, er, “musical output” thus far vacillates between buttermilk-thick pap pop and simply horrendous horseshit. “The Way You Are” is more the former than the latter but not much more.
[3]
Al Shipley: So far “Nothin’ On You” is still the most tolerable song out of the Smeezingtons’ shameless hit parade, and so their own generic hookman is wise to launch his solo career with something similar, if a bit smoother and more treacly.
[6]
Martin Skidmore: He has the kind of pleasantly husky R&B voice that could get him into, say, 5th place on American Idol, and maybe he would cover a song like the title here — but in fact this isn’t that song. This one is a pretty simple tune, likeable enough, with smoothly polite production. It’s hard to dislike, but I can work up no enthusiasm for any part of it.
[6]
Rebecca Toennessen: Oh man, puke-a-tronic! Sorry, I just can’t abide cheesy love songs like this. Bruno’s not a terrible singer but he seems distanced from his lyrics of OMG luv u 4eva girl. Maybe there’s something in the studio production that slicks away any raw feeling.
[4]
Katherine St Asaph: The Bruno Mars-industrial complex continues to grow per plan. He started with a few sugary hooks (reproduced live!) Now he’s found a persona: the boy who sings the songs you wish your boyfriend would, the sweet-guy alternative to the boys who want you to strip — not mutually exclusive in real life, but somewhat in teen culture. Never mind that he co-wrote “Right Round,” which is in fact all about wanting you to strip; he’s still poised to own the image. This, his big solo single, dispenses with the already-scant innuendo in B.o.B.’s “Nothin’ on You” for chaste love in the vein of Maroon 5’s “She Will Be Loved,” all whooshes and slow kisses and compliments strictly above the neck. It lives or dies on its sincerity, so your tolerance of this likely will depend on when you think he just wants in your pants. Or whether you mind.
[6]