Visual Illustration Thursday!…
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[3.27]
Katherine St Asaph: Remember how the Internet was supposed to be this glorious medium through which all the unsung geniuses could sing out? Well, it’s 2010, the latest viral fad is a fucking Old Spice ad, and this pablum is what gets chosen for fame. MySpace and CD Baby and SoundCloud and Bandcamp all froth with fascinating music with mere hundreds of plays, yet here we are, discussing this technically competent, terminally boring piano dreck because someone on a TV show has no initiative and no imagination. Fuck the long tail; it has failed us all.
[1]
Jessica Popper: After hearing this song used to soundtrack a performance on So You Think You Can Dance recently, I immediately had to find out more about Christina. The song had managed to make what was only a fairly good performance feel actually quite moving. It seems like I wasn’t the only one whose interest was peaked, as the single shot into the charts after the SYTYCD appearance, despite Christina not even having a record deal. Jar of Hearts is one of the best adult contemporary ballads I’ve heard in ages and certain to soon become a staple of TV drama series soundtracks.
[8]
Martin Skidmore: An indie singer-songwriter, with very classy strings backing her, singing strongly with plenty of feeling. It does sound very much like the kind of thing you’d get at the end of an American drama, over the moving climax as someone walks sadly away. This image probably doesn’t help me like it, but I do anyway. She can write and sing, and the restrained backing is excellent. An excellent example of something that isn’t generally my thing.
[8]
Hazel Robinson: Like a moth to a flame I was immediately drawn to the faintly gothic premise of this song. Sadly, it transpires to be a boring piano ballad worthy of the X Factor winner. I kept hoping it might bring out a massive bat-encrusted Meatloaf ending, but to absolutely no avail.
[3]
Doug Robertson: This song was clearly destined to be sung whilst stood in the spotlight, fists clenched as you make anguished, imploring gestures towards the stalls as act 1 of the musical tries to come to an emotional close. Not any musical in particular, mind, just musicals in general. Even one featuring puppets.
[4]
Rebecca Toennessen: I’m not a fan of ballads. I’m not a fan of most female singers. I’m not a fan of ballads sung by female singers, especially when “collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart” are in the lyrics. I would much prefer if the chap in question collected actual hearts in an actual jar. More sci-fi pop songs please. Less of this.
[2]
Alfred Soto: “You’re gonna catch a cold from all the ice in your soul,” she warns, stretching an arm across an empty auditorium.
[2]
Anthony Easton: That line alone would allow for any lover to build a giant Fortress of Solitude between this woman, with the over singing, and the melodramatic piano, and emo silliness. I actually want to buy her ex a beer for handling this kind of nonsense.
[0]
Mallory O’Donnell: Rarely does a performer match her material so well – I can think of no more painfully appropriate way to experience such a ripely awful set of lyrics than through her drama school dropout voice.
[1]
Tal Rosenberg: Though she’s trying to be resilient in the face of her priggish gent, Perri sounds weak and plastic, the ache of her voice too overwhelmed by the wince-worthy quavers in her voice. But hey, we can just overproduce the hell out of it and play it in a supermarket, where everyone can try to tune it out.
[2]
Jonathan Bogart: I like Alicia Keys songs better when Alicia Keys sings them.
[5]