That’s a mighty big claim to make, mister…
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[5.40]
Alfred Soto: The most colorless and intermittently compelling voice in R&B and the most colorless and irredeemably boilerplate svengali in dance music. Irresistable.
[0]
Zach Lyon: The cliche that comes to mind is “guilty pleasure” but I really hate the implication that one should ever feel guilty about their pleasures (unless it’s, you know, serial killing or whatever) and that guilt would only sprout from the name “David Guetta,” despite the fact that this is obviously the best track to his name. And this sounds little like his streak of hacky BEPism, though it maintains what I think is the intended spirit of a lot of BEP tracks — that desire to make a song that works as well in the club as it would at a wedding reception. Or at a Bar Mitzvah in 2001, which is the era he seems to be aspiring to. The point is, this is Guetta The DJ, not Guetta The Producer Of Reliable Moneymakers. And we have Rihanna, well-utilized in her alternate universe role of house diva, which she works just as well. Her robotic range sounds at home backing a club track rather than dominating it, and probably necessitates the rather sugary voice-modulation in the chorus. And for once we have a great middle eight: “Ultrasexual/the night has got me lovesprung” might be my favorite lyric in a while, and then “My heart is a dancer/beating like a disco drum”, a worthy line if only because it takes the tired “My heart is a 808/jungle/______ drum” and adds a totally excessive metaphor on top of it. I might not agree with this a year from now, but right now it’s on repeat.
[9]
Jer Fairall: Robotized even more than usual, Rihanna’s insistence on nevertheless giving her vocal part an actual jolt of melodic range and forward momentum is commendable, but this is still another faceless David Guetta composition, only superior to “Sexy Bitch” or “Gettin’ Over” on the grounds that forgettable will always trump obnoxious when looking down the road at months of inevitable repetition.
[5]
Michaelangelo Matos: With Black Eyed Peas, Guetta’s contributions tone up the hopeless sap and/or relentless bad taste of his paymasters. With Kelis, a strong personality with sharp tastes kept his beats basic but powerful. On his own, he enlists Rihanna to leave behind the winking human being behind the robot guise, and she goes along because, hey, it’s his vision.
[5]
Martin Skidmore: Rihanna’s voice is sort of harsh in the first place, so I can really do without autotuning on her, which wastes what I like about her. The chorus, with some awful male vocals, is horrid, and I’ve had far too much of Guetta’s electro-house sounds in the last couple of years.
[4]
Katherine St Asaph: David Guetta, realizing people have caught onto his releasing half-assed versions of the same song, tries something new: a half-assed version of a RedOne song, with the presets but none of the power. This includes the Rihanna preset; seldom has she sounded less engaged with her material. Hell, she even admits she doesn’t really care. Who’s that chick? Who cares?
[5]
Jonathan Bogart: I wouldn’t have expected Guetta to make Rihanna sound less strident than Stargate did, but who can keep all those French house guys straight anyway.
[8]
Chuck Eddy: Still don’t think Rihanna tends to be appreciably lamer when sublimating her personality into mere danceclub anonymity; it’s not like I ever found her personality all that interesting in the first place. And I don’t doubt this is functional, for those who care about its function. I’m also glad they remembered to include the “k” in “chick.” Lots of people — even Kid Rock once! –don’t.
[4]
Kat Stevens: This sounds exactly like you’d expect but 10 x SUNNIER and I dunno about you but I need a bit of bloody sunshine this January.
[7]
Josh Langhoff: I like how Rihanna’s line “Sheeza been a crazy dita” cops the shape of “Quien es esa niña” from “Who’s That Girl?” It’s a nice touch, somehow allowing subtler, more mysterious, more Latina early Madonna to inhabit the same THUMP THUMP CLUB CLUB feel of recent Madonna fitness music. Also dig the pretty chords and funny electro voices that leaven all the thumping.
[7]