We’ve come too far to give up whom we snark.

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[4.60]

David Sheffieck: I liked this a lot more when it premiered as an ad on SNL/Coachella screens last year.
[0]

Patrick St. Michel: Wrap up your creepy “I think you like it too” jibber jabber in whatever plastic sheen ya want, doesn’t make it any less gross…but does manage to make the whole song somehow sound musically more stilted.
[0]

Crystal Leww: “Crazy for You” is a clearly formulated pop song built for the times: Adam Levine/Pharrell Williams falsetto on that chorus, the faux-Nile Rodgers tinny guitar, and vocoders that sound like Daft Punk. It’s all crowd pleasing, perfectly timed with the onset of spring. It’s a real shame that everything other than the vocals have been given to lead singer Jacob Hoggard; imagine how much wonderful convertible driving could be done to this if it were Cher Lloyd instead.
[6]

Alfred Soto: Hold on, folks: here come the “Get Lucky” clones. But the existence of Chic didn’t mean Change couldn’t record brilliant records, and in this case the singer’s falsetto is so much more attractive (and pitch savvy) than Pharrell’s that I’m tempted to overrate it. Judging from the photos of these young men, Maroon 5 were a closer analogue anyway.
[7]

Brad Shoup: I figure, if the Victorious cast did this, I’d find it poignant. It certainly respirates better than “Get Lucky”; the wind-up to the chorus contains some genuine dramatics. And hey, “upper-class corruption/stone-cold seduction” is an all-time couplet, and chased by what my mind’s convinced is the line “your feet show keeps me coming”? What an artifact.
[8]

Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: “Upper class corruption! Stone cold seduction!” A sentence that insane should be in a hair metal song, not this. Remember that one guy that looped the “Get Lucky” guitar lick for a full song? Remember how annoying that was out of its glorious made-for-wedding-dancefloors context? Now imagine that dude made a Maroon 5 b-side rejected for being “too smarmy”.
[3]

Rebecca A. Gowns: This song is totally straightlaced! Where is the craziness I was promised? It’s not in the tune — “Treasure” Jr., son of Bruno Mars and Justin Timberlake’s pale-disco-throwback-plus-fedoras. Very little “crazy” in the lyrics, too. It’s just “crazy for you,” “bright lights,” and “good shit,” over and over. And over and over. And over and over. And over…and over…and over… oh God … am I losing it? Have I fallen victim to their true villainous plot? Am I going to be dragged away into the horrible cliched imagery of the music video? So crazy. So crazy. So crazy baby. That’s some good shit. That’s some good shit. That’s some good shit. I’m so crazy for you.
[4]

Scott Mildenhall: Not quite the worst use of the word “psycho” in a song, but just as this is about as innovative as a spoon, some of the lyrics would have been better written by one. On top of that the synth parps are so cheap sounding they can only be described as “synth parps”, but everything else is played to a tee. It would have been handy if the phrase “Maroon 5 out of 10” was more fitting, but it can wait.
[7]

Megan Harrington: I did not like “Get Lucky” very much and I think Maroon 5 are unequivocally the worst, but somehow, this meeting of the minds is pretty palatable! I’m going to go have an existential crisis now. 
[7]

Mallory O’Donnell: Witless, clueless, oddly charming, desperately white. Made me laugh, but not out loud.
[4]