And she’s already retconned that first single, naturally…
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[5.42]
Luisa Lopez: Hilary Duff, right? What a hack. Something about that tinny voice — there’s almost too little of it — makes me so mad, like I’ll never love music again. In the heyday of her early millennial stardom I was furious that life had let her trade the glumness of algebra homework for the angled joy of television. And the Lumineers did this song first, doesn’t she know that? Taylor Swift left her handprint on the awkward tightness of those yooou-oouuuus when she was born. But I love this song so much I catch myself smiling on the subway when I remember it. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s bettered by Duff’s mediocrity; maybe because she’s remained relatively light in her musical history this expression of joy sounds real — like it’s honestly about someone she loves, like she’s taking those handclaps without any irony. I can’t believe Hilary Duff released a song in 2014 that makes me want to be in my bedroom solving math problems again.
[8]
Jonathan Bradley: Hilary Duff is an utter featherweight, which is a good thing: “All About You,” bedroom feints and all, is Disney Channel recast with twentysomethings. More crush than come-on, it’s sunny and winsome and made of banjo and handclaps and unabashedly enthusiastic call-and-response shouting. It’s over in less than three minutes and makes “So Yesterday” sound glum. Is it just me or is teen-pop making a real comeback in 2014 — see also Becky G, Victoria Duffield, Echosmith?
[8]
Scott Mildenhall: It’s always nice to have a bit of background, so it’s great to discover that before Duff, Kotecha, Lundin and Falk finished writing The Vamps’ “Somebody To You” it was less singalong and more Scrubs theme tune. Giving the demo and completed versions to acts from separate sides of the Atlantic? The perfect crime. For The Vamps, anyway.
[5]
Patrick St. Michel: I guess she’s chasing every trend possible now, even if most of them already have cobwebs on them.
[3]
Crystal Leww: “All About You” is Hilary Duff doing pop-country Taylor Swift around the time of Red. This is funny to me because I imagine that Taylor Swift may have watched Lizzie McGuire at some point as a kid, and right as Swift is shedding her country past, Duff is embracing her stomps and shouts. Like Taylor Swift, Duff’s lyrics are somehow all about sex in kind of a sneaky way (never 4get that Swift’s first single was about having sex in the back of a pickup truck on back roads), with Duff crooning about showing the object of her affections how she’s all about him after turning down the lights. I’m into it.
[7]
Alfred Soto: Bearing post-Red luxuries like EDM-encrusted mandolins and hand claps, it also sports a folk melody and hints of the country jam it could’ve been, but Duff’s enthusiasm is swollen to Rockettes size — what so excites her is so banal that it doesn’t justify the expensive production.
[5]
Micha Cavaseno: Nosepiercer, a post-apocalyptic world where people are forced to feed on a hybrid of bad country-pop and pseudo-hip-hop production techniques resembling the worst of imitation Kanye & Lumineers, while dwelling in Hilary Duff’s nose riding the rails of notes and grinding them into oblivion. Coming soon to a theater near you.
[1]
John Seroff: The issue with doing the so-very-spot-on Taylor thing in this brave new post-country Taylor world is that everybody’s gonna knee-jerk point and scream NOT AS GOOD AS TAYLOR all Donald Sutherland at you. I’m hard-pressed to justify my own need to shout TAYLOR here beyond a half-assed mea culpa and the narcissism of small differences. Perhaps it’s an inelegant route toward stating my dissatisfaction with Duff’s lack of narrative oomph and “All About You’s” inability to crest out of third gear into something more than merely cute.
[5]
Katherine St Asaph: I’ve been trying lately to avoid the temptation to nitpick lyrics, because it’s one step from there to blaming pop for all the people you think are less intelligent than you, but: “Think you’re all about me, but I’m all about you.” What is the but? Why but? All I can think is maybe she’s realized she’s more invested — but that’d require something different than this mandatory YMCA hayride of a track, which mistakes vocal fry for confidence and melisma for soul and is invested in nothing.
[3]
Will Adams: The constant shouting gets a bit much by the end, but the rest is so sweet I don’t mind. There’s an interesting blend of synthetic and real instruments — the bass pulls like saltwater taffy, the mandolins are lifted right from a campfire — but Duff is the star, pushing her otherwise thin voice just enough to sound earnest but endearing.
[7]
Brad Shoup: All that shouting is cheap heat inside a largely swoony tune, with a skitter in the chorus that reminds me of “Knock You Down”. When she lowers the boom with the “hey baby baby” part, there’s the proof.
[6]
David Sheffieck: It’s baffling that this wasn’t Duff’s comeback single: there’s nothing innovative here, much less challenging, but it lands square in the middle of at least half a dozen trends without embarrassing itself, which is a feat in its own right. More importantly, it’s not mediocre to the point of anonymity. “All About You” is exactly the sort of song that Duff needs to reintroduce herself as a pop star: inviting, almost comforting, and a reminder of what we missed about her that doesn’t rehash her — or others’ — past glories.
[7]