Gather ’round the fire, y’all. J’s got a story.
[Video][Website]
[4.00]
Will Adams: I don’t want to hear about J. Cole’s first time. I don’t want to recall my first time (hint: it wasn’t this cinematic… nor positive). I don’t want to think about the people who had their first time with me (hint: finding out through the grapevine that it was their first time is not the best feeling). I don’t want to contribute to the pervasive idealization of the first time, nor the pressure of sex to always be perfect, just like it is in the movies or in songs. Nor do I want to contribute to the stigma of teenage virginity. I sure as shit don’t want to think about wet dreams ever. I don’t want any of this.
[0]
Micha Cavaseno: Dreamz, with a Z. Naw but for real: this kid still can’t produce and possesses the barest minimum of narrative comprehension. His voice sounds like the beginning of a sneeze manifested into human life, and obviously I’m being really petty and fucking hate this kid, but, like, you named a song “Wet Dreamz” with a Z. Son…what?
[2]
Alfred Soto: Taking us back to a RZA production from 1995, J. Cole delves into the difficulty of walking around with a boner. He keys his sexual experience with the hook “I ain’t never did this before, no” — a relief after years of bragging. As usual what stands out is competence, not inspiration. I mean, I’m glad his first time was memorable enough to write about. It isn’t for most.
[5]
Brad Shoup: The hook was such a bad choice, at least the first time — Ghostface would have gone straight from her question to an answer that was anything but straight (I mention Dennis because “Child’s Play” is the best first-time cut by several miles). After that, it’s cool, sort of: you think Cole’s undercutting the idea of being born to do it, but then there’s that it-happened-to-me final couplet. Or is she telling him what he wants to hear? Cole’s production is a kind of throwback stasis: old school jams raising his expectations. For any kind of honesty alone, I dig this. For not making a hash of it, I applaud.
[7]
Thomas Inskeep: Yet another single proving to me that J. Cole is all hype: a dull sampling of “Impeach the President” for the thousandth time, plus a tale of his first sexual experience.
[2]
Ramzi Awn: Cole’s stride is undeniable, and he means it when he says he’s going to take you back. With too many hooks to count, “Wet Dreamz” is the perfect summer jam.
[8]