Judging by this picture, looks like they just heard their song for the first time.
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[1.91]
Sally O’Rourke: You told us you were trouble; we know that you’re no good.
[1]
Michaela Drapes: I’d avoided Jedward throughout their run on X Factor, now I’m destined to have nightmares about how these shrill, identically-dressed little robot children with terrifying hair are coming to eat my brain. Lovely.
[0]
Ian Mathers: This is just… shockingly clumsy. Like, “My Moment” calibre. Usually promotional muscle entails a certain level of quality control, but did they even try to do anything with (for example) the vocals?
[2]
Jonathan Bradley: More striking than its horribleness is its sheer incompetence. The Auto-Tune ooze sounds only like Jedward have found a karaoke joint with some tricked out effects included as part of the package, and the Eurocheese instrumental wears 2011 stylings the way Ralph Wiggum wears an Idaho costume.
[2]
Edward Okulicz: Jedward are of course utterly atrocious in any way you want to analyse them, but it’s a real testament to their handlers that their every antic is halfway credible as far as being pop stars goes. In fact, their writers are really good at coming up with non-lyrical vocal hooks; their little cascades of “oh” on this, or “dum” on “Lipstick” are maddeningly addictive. If I give those bits a good score and zero to every other part of the song, and average it based on the ratio, that should be fair enough, yes?
[1]
Kat Stevens: Jedward genuinely seem completely unaffected by their fame (given that when they first appeared on X Factor their sense of self-importance/talent ratio was already off the scale). Over the course of 18 months, their singing, dancing, acting and ability to speak in sentences has not improved one iota, which is rather astounding. Their concept of naughtiness appears to involve a) brushing their teeth b) having a pillow fight c) talking to strange old men on the internet. As an anthropological/cultural study I find them fascinating, but unfortunately the fact remains that their song, while jolly, is not very good.
[3]
Brad Shoup: Pop radio is their incidental art; I suspect if they could release a song composed of Simon Cowell saying their names for three minutes they would. These ADHD-riddled snots are in the Jedward business, destroying poses as soon as they’re adopted, smirking at the image machine that is their nerve center. We all know the cardinal pop sin is being boring; on headphones, in the car, you’d think these two were the saddest puppets in the world. But if they catch your eye, they’ll move heaven and earth to keep it. We’re all their intended audience, but in a very real sense, they only seem to want to entertain themselves.
[0]
Jonathan Bogart: It’s my understanding that Jedward are entertaining mostly because of how much they get wrong about pop. So they know that image is important — but they choose an image that nobody could possibly love. They know that bosh-heavy dance music and Auto-Tuned vocals are important — but they don’t know that “bad behavior” isn’t the kind of phrase you can build a modern pop song around, being neither memorable nor vernacular. Maybe it’s more of a common phrase in the UK or Ireland? I wouldn’t know.
[5]
Katherine St Asaph: Dear chart-watchers, nay-sayers and snark-slingers everywhere: Jedward is to Irish music as Justin Bieber, or maybe Greyson Chance, is to American music. Context is arrayed like hairdos around both comparisons, but for once can we all just ignore it?
[1]
Jake Cleland: Jedward’s songs are basically inconsequential, but at least for me they’ve garnered unlimited, everlasting goodwill for their outstanding cover/remix “Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby).” I told a friend in Philadelphia that it’s crazy Eurovision isn’t more popular in the US and she said, “Maybe because it isn’t any good?” Conclusion: Fuck you, America, you don’t deserve it because you’re not any good. But erm… neither is this song, frankly.
[3]
Jer Fairall: Oh great, a male Ke$ha.
[3]