Our first time covering her in five and a half years, and in the interim she’s discovered Instagram…
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[5.43]
Micha Cavaseno: This beat is actually an excellent slab of artificial ratchet, but the fact is, it sounds weird to hear Jordin Sparks attempting to suddenly be a more identifiable creature. The whole #ByeFelicia mixtape campaign (that name…) sounds like a hurried attempt to make the former Idol contestant into a possible player in the R&B/pop borderlands. It’s a considerable scale-back in ambitions, recognizing that a straight-forward R&B gesture à la Fantasia wouldn’t be believable from Sparks, and that Sparks’ MOR brand of pop is lost to her in the current climate. But I can’t say it feels like it works to hear Sparks spouting social media cliches in an attempt to sound young and hip. Oh, and 2 Chainz appears, because nothing says reinvention like a 40 year old Gucci Mane parody doing his divorce dad jokes.
[5]
Iain Mew: There’s barely enough surrounding structure to support the title’s innuendo, never mind 2 Chainz’ strangely unengaged verse which ends by clumsily spelling it out. It’s such a good one that I almost don’t mind.
[5]
Juana Giaimo: The more I listened to it, the more coincidences I could find with “2 On”, but the “hey”s were proof enough to believe they are more than just coincidences.
[4]
Alfred Soto: Those hey-heys sound like encouragement the “you” needs to keep tapping that ho. But the beat ping-pongs around its luxuriant curves, Sparks evinces more personality than is her wont, and the cynicism on display impressed instead of depressed me.
[6]
Mo Kim: That’s a cavernous beat, one that gives the chilly synth melodies and Sparks’ understated vocal valuable room: shout-out to 2 Chainz, who generates more warmth in one verse about his turn-ons and asking a homegirl out to dinner than is found in the rest of this song. Passes my litmus test of whether or not I’d want to play this while coming back home on the subway at night.
[6]
Brad Shoup: There’re some real personal stakes going on in the chorus, at least before Sparks touches down into dollar-store Mustard territory. Spangles and blips form a spare backdrop for her to unfurl a refrain that’s equal parts confidence and hope. 2 Chainz is remarkably on theme, but his pipsqueaky verse lurches into another gear mid-verse, like someone had to splice his bars together.
[6]
Scott Mildenhall: What a time to be alive. It’s still a time when, despite its prevalence, singing about the internet is difficult to pull off convincingly. This is effectively Sparks’ “Wired For Sound” or “Communication (Somebody Answer The Phone)”, and will doubtless date, but she at least makes a good fist of pushing it past gimmickry. “Instafamous”, double tapping — like 2 Chainz, legit concepts, and to be treated as such. That the titular play on words doesn’t feel clumsy means something is clearly going right.
[6]