Like Gilliam made Brazil/LeBon on “View to a Kill”/Fresh Prince’s first name is Will/And now you’re in my way
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[4.33]
Jer Fairall: Marianas Trench plunder maxims and catchphrases with the craftiness of any rapper or country singer ruling the charts, and Josh Ramsay’s rendering of the phrase “did I stutter” into an actual stutter is a typically smart-stupid hook to hang a wannabe hit on. For me, though, the band’s main selling point remains Ramsay’s tense, itchy exuberance as a vocalist and his obvious disdain for the maudlin as a songwriter; he just might be Canada’s sharpest commercial pop craftsman currently going even if we don’t count the fact of his being roughly 40% responsible for “Call Me Maybe.” If “Stutter” falls just shy of the mark of previous MT singles covered here (for me, anyway), blame Ramsey for painting himself into a bit of a corner with that chorus: the novelty of the phrase is the song’s reason for existing, but as a chant-along hook, it’s awkward.
[6]
Doug Robertson: Like a stupid fish, this is constantly trying to find a hook, but like a smart fish, it never quite finds one. It’s not for want of trying, all sorts of tricks from the pop rock are tried out here in a desperate attempt to find something that’s actually going to stick, but there’s nothing here that could snare even the hungriest, most desperate and easily pleased creature. It’s already dead in the water.
[3]
Hazel Robinson: If I didn’t always hear “Marianas Trench” in the voice of Nathan Explosion, I think I’d find the revelation that they’re jaunty guitar-pop far less jarring. Nevertheless, this is music made for some kind of advert involving a lot of people looking improbably happy about settees and it thinks it’s much more jolly and far less empty than it is. When even a handclap call-and-response sounds entirely devoid of fun you know you are going wrong.
[5]
Patrick St. Michel: The handclaps can stay, as can the 50’s prom vibe of the verses, and we can even make room for the weird delivery of “stutter” in the chorus. But can something please be done about the way the vocals are howled? Dude is trying way too hard.
[4]
Will Adams: Please stop shouting.
[3]
Alfred Soto: When the voice of euphoria sounds like Adam Levine’s and the stutter like a bully making fun of a weakling, the concept needs a rethink.
[3]
Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: Seemingly inspired by the worst parts of Decaydance Records’ output and the loudest cheer class of all time, vocalist Josh Ramsay delivers an incessant yelp in a voyage to be your local bar’s third best Adam Lambert impersonator. Ramsay is best known for having co-writing “Call Me Maybe” but here’s no sign of that song’s charm to be found or any image as pertinent as those of ripped jeans and wishing wells. “Stutter” is eager to please without having anything to excite with, irritating as a fake smile’s clench.
[2]
Edward Okulicz: That’s one under-written chorus there. But the verses are perky and belie a level of craft and ambition at least worthy of being compared to Fall Out Boy, even if the gulf in quality is fairly big still. Nonetheless, Marianas Trench still have individual touches: Josh Ramsay will bend a word (here, “stutter” itself) until it fits his oddball sense of hookcraft and as a result sounds like it’s in another language entirely. His band’s dorky rhythms are easy, unchallenging fun.
[7]
Katherine St Asaph: My dear my dear my dear you do not know me but I know you very well and let me tell you that I cau-cau-cau-cau-caught you with the saturation knob.
[3]
Alex Ostroff: Marianas Trench are getting closer to the Uncanny Valley of Fall Out Boy and Los Campesinos!, where seriousness and satire can no longer be distinguished, but while this rides that line better than “Haven’t Had Enough“, it doesn’t have the Stump-worthy hooks of “Desperate Measures“. My “Are they serious?” regarding “Stutter” is directed, though, not at the lyrics, but the odd musical mélange. The stomp-clap and gospel choirs here feel like something that FOB would have experimented with successfully on Folie à Deux, but I still can’t entirely decide if it congeals or curdles here. Repeated exposure has helped the various parts integrate in my mind; the only real flaw remains my own desire for Josh Ramsay’s voice to sound A Little Less Try Hard, A Little More “Arms Race.”
[7]
Brad Shoup: These mooks wanna be Fall Out Boy, let ’em. I need all the hateful formulaic guitar pop I can get. They take the piss out of gospel choirs, Michael Jackson (or Patrick Stump — who knows anymore?), stuttering itself — what the fuck is wrong with these guys?
[8]
Ian Mathers: Just checking in, still the worst? Yep, still the worst.
[1]