And then dive into THE PITS OF HELL RAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH *cough*…
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[5.18]
Josh Langhoff: The Cupid/gun metaphor has traveled through Carrie Underwood, the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, and Michael Penn, whose debut appeared the same year as Marilyn mentor Nine Inch Nails’ — coincidence?? None of them pounded the witch drums like these guys, though. Turns out the title is the most innocuous line in a song dripping with metaphoric abandon, as though Manson’s metaphors are blood-filled balloons hurled against the walls inside that hotel room of his eyes, exploding until he cries blood like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, which as we all know was actually a woman. Best is the climactic, “Laid as still as a Bible” — suggesting Manson’s Bible doesn’t shake and spit out sparks whenever he gets too close — “and it felt like Revelations when I looked inside.” What, you were expecting Lamentations?
[7]
Anthony Easton: I am impressed at how sludgy and muddy this sounds, and how much it sounds like Trent before he decided to become respectable.
[7]
Edward Okulicz: Manson’s schtick is twofold: cartoon horror and sloganeering, and he forgot that and became terrible, so it’s nice he’s remembered. “Cupid Carries a Gun” is a nice little schlock show with a big goth-pop chorus à la (Depeche) mode. And then there’s about 20 minutes of verses and “witch drums” — which drums? — that dilute the impact of the good stuff. Nonetheless, good stuff there is.
[6]
Micha Cavaseno: There has been some dire, DIRE dreck emanating from the Manson camp, and the way he slabs out the word “fuck” off his tongue makes me feel like I should ask him if he’d like some more butter for his corny ass. But the stupid barroom swagger embodies the idiocy that Tom Waits lampooned on “Going Out West” and jams harder than he’s wanted to in a while, showing he can tango with his shtick rather cozily. Good on ya, Bri.
[6]
Kat Stevens: Not excruciating! Blimey, between this and The Prodigy’s new one, it could almost be a resurgence of angry 90s bosh-metal, a.k.a. my favourite teen genre! Alas it seems unlikely: “Cupid Carries A Gun” isn’t boshing at all, of course (which is probably why the Excruciating Rating is so low). Instead Maz has gone back to the Dave Gahan Wearing A Cowboy Hat style, i.e. it could do with a bit of bottle neck slide on the guitar. That would bump up the Martin Gore Score! (Sorry.)
[5]
Alfred Soto: Words words words — Marilyn’s prolixity is closer to a folk singer than whatever he was in the late nineties. If you’re going to concentrate on words, come up with better, less audible ones than the title.
[4]
Patrick St. Michel: Marilyn Manson was the first musician that ever scared me. Possibly because of his deeply pale appearance, but more likely because I was afraid of everything as a kid (I would “go to the bathroom” during the trailers before movies, after the sneak-peek of Outbreak freaked me out). It wasn’t because Marilyn Manson was going to turn me into a Satanist, though that seemed a better excuse to avoid him than “he looks like a decomposing scarecrow.” As a result, I have never actually listened to a Marilyn Manson until “Cupid Carries a Gun,” and I expected a dramatic showdown, a long-overdue shaking-off of childhood fears. But this just sounds like Beck auditioning for work at an “extreme” haunted house. It’s OK.
[5]
Mark Sinker: This is silly, Cupid carries a taser and pills.
[3]
Cédric Le Merrer: I guess Marilyn Manson was pissed to discover that all the big pop stars were Satan-worshiping Illuminati members and no one invited him. So he teamed up with a horror movie soundtrack guy, because when you’re Marilyn Manson, that’s what you do to make a serious-sounding, rock critic-pleasing play at a late career renaissance. But the secret of good Manson for me was always the fun. It’s not too bad, but to quote a similarly dreary revisiting of what was once glorious camp: why so serious?
[6]
Brad Shoup: Never underestimate the rock-crit establishment’s love of a good quote. Severely suspect a guy riding the same drumbeat since 1993, wearing a croak that even Rick Rubin would send back for a second take.
[4]
Scott Mildenhall: If Marilyn Manson really wanted to redo one of his redoings of other people’s songs he should have chosen “LoveGame” and not “Personal Jesus”. Furthermore, he shouldn’t be allowed to turn its glum stomp into something so dirgelike. It’s about as dramatic as a spoon, and (go with this) impossible not to reach out at such waste! Of five minutes.
[4]