Not sure you’ve even earned the “beautiful” here…
[Video]
[2.60]
Katherine St Asaph: Can we get a clause in new rappers’ contracts (you know, in a world where they aren’t wildly exploitative at baseline) that specifies they don’t have to guest on a Maroon 5 song? Adam Levine sounds like he’s trying to pour his voice into writer blackbear’s skin. (Oh, yes, that’s right: the guy who did “Hot Girl Bummer” was rewarded for it!) Megan’s verse is alarmingly, unrecognizably bad, as if she thought this track didn’t deserve her competence. Can’t say I blame her.
[0]
Alfred Soto: Megan’s here for the streams, Adam & the Levines for the pleasure of proving himself right.
[2]
John Seroff: I’m not ethically opposed to the existence of Maroon 5 but dross like this is the reason why can’t have nice things. RIP “bands”.
[2]
Harlan Talib Ockey: Curious what sin I committed to make God curse me with this lightly-warmed “Girls Like You” re-hash. At least Megan seems to be as disgusted with Levine’s narrator as I am.
[2]
Will Adams: On paper, this concept — Adam Levine sings a blackbear song; Megan is roped in for the sole purpose of recreating the success of “Girls Like You”; the chorus lyric “she’s naked in my bed” — is, in a word, cursed. But somehow, it veers from a train wreck into serviceable radio-pop territory. The limited melody prevents Levine from bleating, and Megan stretches over the midtempo beat with ease. (A pox on whoever keeps forcing her to sing, though.)
[5]
Al Varela: I want to congratulate Maroon 5 for making their first good song since “Sugar”, but I have to take back that congratulations and give it to Megan and blackbear instead because they’re really the only reason this song is any good. blackbear’s beat hits that cruise trap vibe pretty well, and the hook is really catchy. Not to mention Megan clearly loves being on pop songs; she sells her verse with flying colors. (It’s way better than Cardi’s lousy verse on “Girls Like You”.) Sadly, an otherwise solid pop tune is hindered by Adam Levine’s refusal to give even a fraction of a shit about his own music. If blackbear were on the mic instead, this would have turned out a lot better.
[6]
Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Adam Levine sounds so uninterested and barely present that I truly would not be surprised if this was actually sung by an AI that was generated to approximate his voice; Megan manages to be a dull, bright spot on a filler track that is totally beneath her.
[3]
Thomas Inskeep: No, Megan, no: I know you want to become an all-quadrants pop star like your pal Cardi B, but this isn’t the way to do it. The people who love Adam Levine will never love you, and the rest of us hate him, and for good reason. Have you heard this? It’s not even a song, just Levine talking yet again, about getting a woman naked. Your bars are the only decent element on this record, but even one as mighty as you can’t rise above this morass of quicksand.
[2]
Aaron Bergstrom: In Neil Gaiman’s American Gods, there is an unnamed deity whose very existence is so slippery that mortals are completely incapable of retaining even the tiniest piece of information about him. He is perfectly, instantly forgettable. Anyway, what were we talking about again?
[2]
Austin Nguyen: “You can make a grown man cry,” Adam Levine moped on his last single, and look! here he is crying. With blackbear as their producer-therapist, giving them a beat to get down-bad and “bittersweet” to (the chorus is just horniness thinly veiled as nostalgia, right?), Melancholy Maroon 5 continue to discover vulnerability is a Thing that Exists. The guitar evokes a wistfulness Adam Levine can’t match lyrically, try as he might with pseudo-profound similes, but the worst part is how much self-awareness he lacks. Being called “toxic” is not just one more tally mark of your “beautiful mistakes”; please see an actual medical professional who is not a frat boy (and who will tell you that “You’re like a broken home to me” is a signifier of trauma, not romance).
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