Doubly negative…
[Video][Website]
[2.89]
Jeffrey Brister: I LOVED Michael Bublé in high school. His voice has a natural flair for the theatrical, and he could back that up with prodigious ability (his cover of “Feeling Good” made me lose my shit, just a perfect encapsulation of his appeal). I was a goofy kid with a flair for the dramatic and loved crooning, how could I not fall head over heels? So, with that in mind, I’ll say I hate this. Not even because it’s particularly bad — a bland love song with a bland vocal performance, set against a bland arrangement that ends before it can offend. But I just can’t get past that it’s him doing the singing, this guy that I idolized for a short period in my late teens. I just listen and feel sad. I want vocal acrobatics, crooning, not this. I’m going to forget this song exists now.
[1]
Oliver Maier: I’m aware that Michael Bublé has a prolific career of non-Christmas songs but trying to engage with any of them feels disingenuous. Let’s stop kidding ourselves. If this had some sleigh bells and a few lines about mistletoe it would at least serve a purpose.
[1]
Edward Okulicz: At his “best,” Bublé has a voice that is a big fluffy cloud of emotional comfort. You are loved by his voice! You will love it, and him, back! But I think maybe he’s farmed out the job of making records to an impersonator, because this doesn’t have that effect — it’s neither cloying, nor warming. In fact, this is a voice with no character whatsoever, singing a song with no character whatsoever. And I’m not a fan, but that’s not Michael Bublé!
[4]
Ian Mathers: Wasn’t the whole point of ol’ Bubbly his voice? So why does it sound so awful here? He sounds like he’s got a digital cold, or like he’s trying to voicetune his way out of a hangover. The content is… fine, you kind of know how florid it’s going to be from the title. If anything it’s at least trying to justify why such a protestation is necessary by spending significant time on how she’s really not into him the way he’s into her, but by the time we get “But if you give me more time I swear you’ll see the light” it kind of just feels like he should back. If you love someone let them go and all that.
[4]
Will Adams: The trance-y pulse is good, but it’s the only sign of life here. For someone ostensibly known for his voice, Bublé sounds flattened, over-processed and completely unaware that the title is meant to be somewhat humorous. I’ll never not forget this song the second it ends.
[4]
Ady Thapliyal: I swear on the spirit of Kworb that I tried to check my biases about Bublé at the door and give this a good, honest listen — but basically any male vocalist could have improved upon Bublé’s bloodless performance. Can you imagine if Cody Johnson covered this song? 10x diamond, international smash.
[2]
Scott Mildenhall: Only a “mouth” and a “couch” away from being an Ed Sheeran cast-off for a reformed boyband; the studied blandness is jarring. While Bublé is known for making inoffensive music, “I’ll Never Not Love You” sands down anything resembling an edge, and that includes his trademark tone. Such a choppy, changeless tune could be held by even a weak singer no more forgettably — this seems a waste of a good one.
[4]
Alfred Soto: I don’t understand insolent comparisons to oatmeal. Oatmeal is nutritious! Warm! Maybe these people cast aspersions on oatmeal’s porousness, its absorptive virtues: add whatever you want, etc. Michael Bublé isn’t oatmeal — nobody has poured anything into him. He remains a crooner who loves the pop more than he has the imagination to understand the songs he sings and the pipes that would render these hesitations moot. “I’ll Never Not Love You” represents another Bublélicious attempt to embrace the legacy of Corey Hart and Richard Marx — without Marx’s sardonic Twitter presence.
[3]
Alex Clifton: I’ve got a soft spot for Michael Bublé’s voice, but I think this song did it way better.
[3]