Speaking of Thicke’s excesses, I’m gonna hijack this subhead to tell you all to read the Marvin Gaye lawsuit depositions — the actual depositions, not the aggregated bizstuff — because I’m not gonna get a better flimsy segue and they are already classic…
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[5.50]
John Seroff: A fair amount of contemporary R&B overleaps mere double entendre into the hilarious and creepy; witness the genius of Erin Markey’s alt-cabaret take (backed by Kenny Mellman of The Julie Ruin) on Usher’s “Hey Daddy”, the Pythonesque nudge-nudge-wink-wink sophomoricism of Bando Jones’ deathless chorus, “SEX / HAVE YOU HAD IT?” and the self-conscious high school freshman sexual politics (and guitar skills) of Miguel’s “Pussy Is Mine“. It’s easy to laugh at the excesses of artists who lay it on Thicke, but over-advertising one’s alpha male status is a perhaps understandable impulse in an idiom where seduction is power and vice versa. The working pop presumption is that men are too proud to beg, and that FM listeners don’t get excited by a naked emperor unless he’s D’Angelo. Mike Jay is not D’Angelo. He’s more of a dirty-mouthed Tevin Campbell riding 90’s-era NPG beats and pleading like it’s prom night. He’s a much more convincing and enjoyable crooner on “Real Strippers,” which is likely telling.
[4]
Alfred Soto: The synth string stabs at the beginning summon Mint Condition’s great “Breakin’ My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes),” the title Johnny Kemp’s forgotten 1989 minor hit, the vocal every ham trying too hard to get laid.
[4]
Thomas Inskeep: This immediately gets a [6] just for interpolating “Breakin’ My Heart,” one of the awesomest singles of my life. However, this kid can sing, and he’s got that mix of pleading and nastiness that many of the greatest R&B singers have. Vocally, Mike Jay reminds me a bit of Trey Songz, but because this so strongly references the early ’90s I get a serious R. Kelly vibe as well. I don’t wanna love this, but I do.
[8]
Crystal Leww: Mike Jay’s lyrics could use some work, but my god if he doesn’t have a voice to go with this luxurious production. It’s going for A LOT with snaps, snares, synths, a marching band worth of horns, and a little break for wobbles, but for the most part it pulls it together and just sounds maximal. Ultimately, the test of a R&B song is whether I want to body roll to it, and yes, I definitely do.
[6]
Brad Shoup: I was gonna say something quick like “oh he’s as amped and plastic as those horns,” but he’s really wound up for half the song; I can practically see his knees bend when the drummer rests. I mean, if I were Morris Day I’d be all “hey, I know you can write something stronger, Prince,” but he’s determined to make something out of this vampy hash, and I’m resigned to let him.
[7]
Juana Giaimo: I feel bad about giving low scores only because of lyrics, but sometimes I truly can’t believe what I’m hearing. Lines like “and if this bed can move, we can call this a rodeo,” even the birthday suit metaphor, make me forget about the charming melody or the powerful beat.
[5]
Anthony Easton: The line “don’t be nervous, take a sip of this” is the creepiest R&B line that I’ve heard this year. That, and the fact that he can only imagine her as a stripper, colours the whole thing in a exploitative, almost rapey vibe. Which is a complete shame, because the horns and drums are expansive.
[4]
Micha Cavaseno: I had no idea that these The Time synths would work so well over such clumsily crunchy snare rolls, so just for doing this, Mike Jay (or shockingly enough, JR Rotem) has earned a fond place in my head. He also has a weird retro bent that usually doesn’t invade R&B that strives for the modern field: the showiness of his verses, the backing harmonies. The synth licks remind me primarily of Mint Condition’s “Pretty Brown Eyes”, and of how TY$’ “My Cabana” cribbed the horn licks from said record to turn a dubstep jam into a surprising bit of soul traditionalism, sneakily tucked into a raving rave-typhoon’s heart. Mike’s crassness is a little too immature to inspire much faith in him, but it shows the craftiness of someone with a desire to innovate while drawing from the legacy of the past.
[6]