Might as well get started on those rhymes. Let’s see… fire/desire; car/bar; ginger ale/epic fail…
[Video]
[4.36]
Will Adams: The story here — a woman who grew up dreaming of a better life caught a big break and is now begging a lover to stay by promising them designer fashions — is simply unpleasant, and MK’s boilerplate thump doesn’t do much to distract from it. For luxury branded house, I’d rather go with (sorry) Azealia’s spin.
[4]
Taylor Alatorre: Sad girls (still) love money, but Protestant humility demands that this love be framed as a reward for having come up “out the struggle,” and also that the girl put a little extra warble on her voice when recounting her mother’s sacrifices. It’s believable if you believe it is. But really, how sad can a person be when they get to pronounce the words “new Bottega” in the middle of a deep house track? Such a naturally bouncy phrase for a naturally bouncy genre; it may as well be nonsense syllables, which is why the vocal splice-up at the end wins a higher emotional response than all the emoting before it.
[6]
Alfred Soto: I thought of Mikey Madison’s Ani from Anora, insensate for the first third of the film as untold luxuries pile on top of her. From Chrystal’s tone I’d say she’s dealing with a post-coke hangover, while the beats evoke the parties she attended a couple hours ago.
[7]
TA Inskeep: I’ve been an MK stan for a long time. When I saw him in person back in the mid 2010s, I openly wept. He’s been one of our finest purveyors of piano house for decades. But this is nearly an abomination. He’s clearly going for that UK pop-chart money — and is on the verge of hitting #1, so it’s working — by going to the lowest common pop-house denominator here. The lyrics are horrible; Chrystal sounds like an AI approximation of a singer. Hearing MK say “most people wouldn’t be able to notice” about some of his musical touches on “Dior” is ironic, because what’s most noticeable is the complete lack of imagination on this record. I weep again, but because this isn’t how it was supposed to go!
[2]
Ian Mathers: Neither the relationship nor the brands are particularly appealing here, and blending them like this makes me more bored, not less. The beats are fine but there are a million songs that sound basically like this (some probably by this same dude!) that are even marginally more compelling.
[4]
Dave Moore: A provocative mismatch here between a vocal that wants the looseness of something like a freestyle song or maybe the dubstep wobble of “Katy on a Mission,” versus a more rigid production that feels stuck in a gear too low. Happy for it to take over the UK charts, though, and look forward to combing through far too many remixes.
[6]
Katherine St. Asaph: Katy C-.
[4]
Nortey Dowuona: Emily Nash’s name is cash.
[1]
William John: A great track — the opening is a reminder of the purplish qualities of the dubstep movement (see Joker, Guido et al) of the late 2000s before that genre was highjacked by bro-ier proponents — marred by an aimless, underdeveloped topline. When the rhymes are as sophisticated as “million / billion,” I feel sorry for the speaker’s paramour, who’s about to receive a billion of them.
[3]
Mark Sinker: The recipient in this tale of desperation and obliviously acquisitive self-absorption is who I want to know more about – the singer’s never going to tell me. I actually really kinda love this, but the sentiment is so not worthy of the disciplined minimalism of melody-voice-setting. Also (cue intrusive moleman thought) how is a billion not too many rhymes?
[7]
Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: A billion is clearly too many rhymes.
[4]