Time to play Let’s Spot the British EDM Artist…

[Video]
[3.44]

Alfred Soto: Distorted “My Cherie Amour” sample + “Show Me Love” sequencer = 99 cents, please.
[1]

Crystal Leww: This UK pop house thing is really here to stay for a little bit, huh? Despite its presence on the charts, the thing about these singles, for me, is how interchangeable the British public seems to find them. It’s been a surprisingly constant force on the charts, but none of Duke Dumont’s tracks charted for a long time, neither did Secondcity, and Heldens didn’t last too long either. I can’t imagine Philip George will last too long either: already this is a step down from the singles by the artists I’ve already mentioned. The hook is easily the thinnest: it’s a Replay Heaven remake, but it’s still just three lines of a Stevie Wonder song. The production is fine, but it doesn’t move beyond the twinkles or the lights. I could put this on a playlist but it’d never be the centerpiece. And points off for (STILL!) not crediting your vocalist. For fuck’s sake, dudes, get it together.
[5]

Thomas Inskeep: Pairing a chipmunk’d vocal sample from “Ma Cherie Amour” with the now sound of ’90s house is potentially a good idea, but here it’s very lazily executed; it doesn’t go anywhere, but just runs in place. Yawn.
[4]

Patrick St. Michel: I’m all for a good remix of an old song, but this just slaps on some Stevie Wonder and adds generic GarageBand “house” options to them. 
[4]

Anthony Easton: I was shopping at this small town thrift store the other day when “Lucky Star” came on the radio and I realized how jubilant that production was — how it was one of the most joyful things because Madonna could barely sing. This is not nearly as interesting as “Lucky Star,” but the matching of heavily formalist vocal choices (esp. that gender-bending baby doll falsetto) with the bubbly production that knows its history has some joy behind it. 
[6]

Micha Cavaseno: When they said “HOUSE IS A FEELING!” back then, I bet they’d never think it could feel like entrapment, desolation and a void where truth and honesty could be.
[1]

Katherine St Asaph: Presumably I am supposed to dance, not rhythmically rummage for my copy of Retromania?
[1]

Scott Mildenhall: Impossibly uninspired, and more importantly sounds it. It’s only two steps removed fromwhat Black Legend did fifteen years ago, but where that had a new depth and heaviness of sound to match its inspiration, this just twinkles a bit, wary of any straying whatsoever from the manual.
[5]

Edward Okulicz: Why yes, I have been meaning to spend at least five hours listening to Livin’ Joy’s “Dreamer” on loop. Have some points for reminding me.
[4]