First Steps single to have a dress code…
[Video][Website]
[3.55]
Jonathan Bogart: I only vaguely know what a Steps is — Post-Spice Girls pop group? More or less credible than S Club 7? Something something Westlife? — and this does absolutely nothing to make me want to fill in those gaps. I suppose the tinny, widdly production is supposed to be nostalgic for their era of (dominance? notoriety? being around?), and they carry off the drippy sincerity of the lyrics as well as any set of grown people who have their own lives to live can, but I don’t know why anyone who isn’t a British granny looking for something they can gift-card the little ones over the hols would listen to it.
[4]
Kat Stevens: Like an idiot I have RELINQUISHED my ticket to see Stock Aitken and Waterman Live in December with the ridiculous excuse of being 200 miles away at the time. Poor calendar scheduling on my part, admittedly, but the prospect of seeing Kylie and Jason sing “Especially For You” LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER scrambled my usually-top-notch organisational skillz. Steps are due to headline this exciting event but I fear that they will be a sad anti-climax after the magnificence of 2 Unlimited (who are mid-way on the bill of approx 13 acts). They certainly won’t do themselves any favours if they sing this “Rule The World”-lite instead of The Hits. However, given the festive timing of the event they might be able to get away with it if they wear a) fluffy hooded coats b) Santa hats c) have fake snow falling from the ceiling. This may be cancelled out by Lisa Scott Lee’s rictus grin going through the motions BUT I WON’T BE THERE so it doesn’t matter 🙁
[3]
Katherine St Asaph: I’ve got near-boundless tolerance for Steps and their sort of thing (evidence: I have yet to give away this Tiktak album I bought thinking it was more Rubyblue and less S Club). I’ve got far less tolerance for indecisive songs. This one’s not sure whether it’s laughable angst, where the shoreside strings and distant guitars and percussion guttering as hard as the altos and secrets they’re keeping add up to not much, or an anthem that borrows a title from Glee but can’t even finish “I know you believe in love!” like it’s so clearly written to. Yet somehow every time I listen, my tolerance grows.
[6]
Will Adams: Strange how “Light Up the World” comes almost exactly five years after the Spice Girls’ own reunion single but sounds three times as dated. With the house craze still dominating much of pop music, it’s baffling that this comeback targets schlocky ’90s balladry instead of the Eurocheese that originally put them on the map.
[3]
Edward Okulicz: The success of any given Steps song can be more or less predicted using a formula involving the tempo, how wide Claire Richards’ mouth goes during the video, and how difficult the dance is to do (most important). This doesn’t really have any dance potential at all. I own three Steps albums (yes, I’m a grown man, what of it?) but I skip every mid-tempo one on them, and so should you.
[3]
Iain Mew: This is less horrible than I expected, relatively short on schmaltz, and almost up there with one of those Girls Aloud ballad covers that you wish they hadn’t had to bother with. Except that Steps have much less appealing voices, and that’s even before you get onto the guys’ token efforts. Also the melodic resemblance of the chorus to Pulp’s “Weeds” may be making me hear it as odder than it is.
[4]
Patrick St. Michel: Well, we know the secret Steps are keeping doesn’t have anything to do with making an interesting ballad.
[2]
Anthony Easton: Like the smooth plastic bump of a Ken doll where the genitals should be.
[3]
Jonathan Bradley: Were Steps hired for a disaster relief charity concert I didn’t hear about?
[2]
Alfred Soto: I tolerated the Amy Grant-esque husk in the vocals before the chorus. Give’em this: how many groups still think late nineties William Orbit production touches redeem schmaltz?
[1]
Brad Shoup: The fake-out intro teases with sloppily diced piano decay and a trip-hop beat before revealing a nice bit of forward motion. Forward, but still ironically, deliciously 15 to 20 years out of date. I suppose my ballad preferences allows for the still, small stuff, as well as the ones that go for world-historical emotional import. This emits the same rain-drenched, cast-your-cares-into-the-troposphere vibe as “Stranger in Moscow” or “Blessed” (14-year-old Brad’s favorite Elton song — yikes!). Fully-digested clichés in both the lyric and arrangement — those string players have clearly earned a holiday bonus — leaving behind nothing of nutrient. A rare treat nonetheless, to be consumed solo, ideally.
[8]