He thinks these blurbs are about him!

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[5.00]

Andy Hutchins: No, Tremaine can’t gender-flip “You’re So Vain” effectively — I can’t think of a man who could, given the way that song cuts against the grain — but I also think that’s not really what he’s trying to do. Pop music has  moved toward commodifying experiences as impersonal soundtracks rather than, say, sending a pointed subliminal message to an ex-lover (is it any wonder that Carly told Taylor who “You’re So Vain” is about?); a song interpolating “You’re So Vain” in which one of many pretty girls in a star’s orbit may or may not realize the joke is on her is hardly heresy at this point. It’s just a pity there’s little in the way of brains at work on this idea: Trey’s smirking his way through unremarkable vocals over plinks and brittle claps. But Janet did the R&B cover of Carly’s original well enough that we didn’t need another one, Drake made the facetious “You’re the only girl” message work better on “Best I Ever Had,” and Jeremih is doing better adaptations of the classics, anyway. Stick to reworking Biggie, bud.
[4]

Rebecca A. Gowns: So many echoes of Carly Simon here, as if it was a reach to a sentimentality deeper than Drake’s. It’s more than the chorus; the instrumental sounds like the spacey electronic piano of “Coming Around Again” set to the syncopated rhythm of “We Have No Secrets.” Songz promises he won’t name any names — much like Simon promised to never reveal the subject of “You’re So Vain”! — and despite the confidence he projects that he’ll get his girl, there’s an overall atmosphere of anticipation. Frankly, even taken at face level, as a cheeky club ballad, the chorus is catchy enough that it doesn’t need anything deeper than attitude dancing.
[8]

Alfred Soto: Ingratiating music box hook, and when he notes a room full of fly girls, he has the amazement of a nerd who made good. But the chorus sits there. Of course it does — it’s not “about” her because there’s a room full of fly girls.
[5]

Micha Cavaseno: As this site’s proud, unabashed and relentless #TeamTrigga rider, nobody is going to be shocked that I’m going to support this song. But the Balearic chill of this simple roller by Mark Nilan Jr. and 21 Music is ultimately perfect in the comedown of summer into autumn as we shrink back and prepare for the cuffing season. Trey is of course at home doing bawdy flirtations, and he’s been hamming it up on songs like this for about a half decade. I’ll be curious if co-writer Ester Dean or Tremaine himself wanted to turn the Carly Simon earworm from a snipe at narcissism into a playful charm of a letter That’s Trey Songz for you, eager to be someone to anyone and everyone.
[7]

Megan Harrington: There are often complaints about how rotely this sort of seduction jam coughs up stereotypes in place of knowledge. The attributes that compose the seduced are far from average: she’s tiny, shapely, blonde, and carefree. Trey Songz veers from the original recipe, but does it sound honest when he sings about wanting the shy girl? Or the hood girl? “I bet you think this song is about you,” he borrows from Carly Simon’s ode to self absorption, and the song is about him, his quirky desires which you might not suspect. He’s unconvincing at every turn, but “About You” retains a rotten charm. 
[5]

Thomas Inskeep: Dude, you can do better than trying to chase Chris Brown to the bottom (and Trey does this kinda thing better, such as it is), and the Carly Simon interpolation is nonsensical: if the song is “all about you,” then why are you saying “I bet you think this song is about you” to its subject? And then “There’s some pretty titties on the bus right now” — yeah, I’m out.
[2]

Katherine St Asaph: I’m not enjoying the parallel trends of tropical house and pop R&B scouring the oldies for songs that haven’t yet been repurposed for feel-good nostalgia.
[4]

Patrick St. Michel: A sweet song with a clever hook. Charming background music, though.
[5]