“ARGH! CANADIAN GODZILLA!”
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[2.33]
Brad Shoup: Karl, we were great until you started dropping patois. Kardinal Offishall’s quickly-abandoned attempt at juggling as many “get” sounds as possible? Forgotten. I could’ve even disregarded your song’s bargain-bin titling. You coulda been my brown-eyed boy, making those Bryan-sized chivalrous declarations. But no, I’m going back to Enrique.
[2]
Jer Fairall: Soft rock revivalism, the Smurfs movie and now a “Glory of Love” sample – thanks, guys. I am officially sick of my own childhood.
[2]
Alfred Soto: The stuttered, stacked beat distracted me from noticing the Peter Cetera quote, but only momentarily. At least Karl still sounds like a dork. Treasure it – the cash money will corrupt him soon enough.
[4]
Sally O’Rourke: “Glory of Love,” Karl? Of all the songs to shake down for a hook, you had to go with one so phony and bombastic that even ironic appreciators of power ballads would flip the radio dial? Fine, maybe the inhabitants of this particular ghetto learned how to love from watching Mr. Miyagi and Daniel-san. But that still doesn’t explain what Peter Cetera’s knight-in-white-denim asseverations have to do with club hopping and denial of visitation rights, or why Kardinal Offishall chose this achingly earnest track as the outlet for his Crazy Frog impression.
[1]
Katherine St Asaph: After recording his piece of “Jack Sparrow,” Michael Bolton got cocky, scrounged up a T-Painotune machine the Lonely Island had left in the studio and went out on their motherfuckin’ boat amid a rip tide to perform. This is the result.
[2]
Ian Mathers: Karl Wolf, you live in Montreal. The closest thing that it has to a ghetto is this. I realize that ‘ghetto’ now basically just means ‘urban’ (which used to be vaguely racist, but now just seems to mean mainstream North American pop music), but leaning on it so heavily in a song that takes a huge chunk out of Peter Cetera’s “Glory of Love” is still pretty brazen. Having Kardinal around doesn’t help things, considering that his most notable contribution is to say “Woop woop” every so often. This is better than your ransacking of Toto’s “Africa,” but only because the source material is a little better.
[3]