One of these rappers is old enough to be the others’ dad! But which is which? And how does Kanye fit in…
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[4.50]
Megan Harrington: Initially, it’s incredibly jarring to hear a tiny goofball like Big Sean say the words “little stupid-ass bitch.” He doesn’t even sound tall enough for that ride, and ultimately, he’s not. “I Don’t Fuck With You” quickly loses its aggressive edge and settles into a pleasant and narcoleptic trip. Sean’s not as angry as he is proud of all the myriad ways he misbehaved. Occasionally he’s so proud that the rapper doth protest too much and it’s clear that he took this little dumb-ass bitch for granted. E-40 isn’t even close to Sean’s toxic energy, and by the time his verse ends the song is fully fun.
[8]
Alfred Soto: The tempo and sample shift at 3:30 is welcome, the beats taste like Mustard, and Sean sounds good, but I wouldn’t want my nieces to grab a beer with him.
[5]
Leela Grace: Maybe Big Sean doth protest too much but he sounds amazing.
[7]
Micha Cavaseno: Let’s just save time: Big Sean’s trading in YG biting for Travis Porter biting for Kanye biting for whomever he was biting when nobody cared about him, as they shouldn’t have. None of this is changing his voice from being terrible, his bars from being corny, and his having all the character of a stale ham sandwich. And Old Uncle Earl Stevens doesn’t sound necessary these days no matter how well he raps. But Kanye provides the science fiction double feature of a slinky Mustard slumper with DJ Dahi making the best sort of modernized take on “Old ‘Ye,” which Sean will never achieve with his perpetual mildewy-snapback-lining of a personality.
[3]
Patrick St. Michel: I really don’t want to settle on the “Big Sean sure sucks” opinion just because I did that once for 2 Chainz and now he’s one of my favorite rappers going. And because it seems too simple. But geez, Big Sean sure sucks on this. The “ozone/no clothes on” run is a lunkheaded highlight… and that it’s soon followed by E-40 seems especially poorly planned. It’s especially bad because he wastes two perfectly great beats in the process.
[3]
Iain Mew: It has two great beats (at least after getting over the synth resemblance to “Feelin’ Myself”) and a guest verse that pops out enjoyably. It’s just that telling someone to fuck off should surely be more fun than Big Sean’s pedantic petulance.
[5]
Ashley Ellerson: “These hoes chase bread.” Duh, Big Sean, because bread (+ butter) = life. Then I realized that bread = money, but I think he’s underestimating the importance of food in a relationship. If you won’t break bread with me, then I can’t hang with you either. And for someone who doesn’t care about a certain chick(s), why not write about the chicks you like? I need more than him saying she looks dumb or ugly because attraction is subjective. Bye, boo boo, bye.
[3]
W.B. Swygart: That [2] I lumbered OG Maco with the other day just keeps looking harsher, as in wheedles Big Sean, brandishing insults ranging from “stupid-ass bitch” to “dumb-ass bitch” and all the way back again. Truly, rap game dude on the train having a 15-minute conversation consisting solely of “I already told yer! I already told yer though! Listen! Listen! I already told yer!”
[2]