Transatlantic number one (until yesterday) heralds our return for the ’09…
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[5.60]
Erick Bieritz: In principle I’ve been as keen as anyone on recent mainstream rap’s engagements with dance music, whether it comes from Daft Punk, Moldova, or the 1980s… but a part of me still hasn’t gotten over incidents like that day a decade ago when Sean Combs dragged Gordon Sumner out of the retirement home with a gun to his head. That said, Flo Rida wisely continues to not really have much of a personality that could interfere with the proceedings, and the blippy metronome pace is engaging enough.
[5]
Hazel Robinson: “And I’m wearin’ a crown, poppin’ these bottles, touchin’ these models, watchin’ they asses go round’n’round” – no lie, it’s hard to hate this kind of ‘dog with its head out of a car window’ enthusiasm. Flo Rida sounds like he’s been kidnapped by Amazons and knows he vaguely ought to be panicking and wondering if his mum’s looking for him but hell, just take a look at that. Awesome.
[8]
M. H. Lo: He tweaks the lyric so that it’s no longer his entire body that is being spun round – because God forbid Florence should be seen to twirl. Conveniently, mentioning “head” means that we can’t miss the meaning of the song (“when you go down”), and I guess any blowjob that Linda Blairs your noggin is by definition a good one.
[5]
Dan MacRae: For a song about pole dancing, “Right Round” comes across as positively quaint. Shouldn’t the Dead or Alive sample have been an alley-oop to something better and filthier? Instead the entire track sputters about (with additional bleeps and bloops for flavor) and does little more than just exist. Maybe Flo Rida sounds better being played by a phone or something. Damn kids and their technology.
[3]
Keane Tzong: There is a certain brutal frugality to this: Can’t get a writer to write a decent hook? Nick one off a proven hit record. Can’t get Katy Perry to sing said hook? Find a blonder, trashier version at half the price. What’s frightening is that this frugality might well be a sign of rock-solid business acumen. You can’t argue with money, after all. And, in classic “winning formula” fashion, his next single features Wynter Gordon and the hook from Eiffel 65’s “Blue”. Personally, I’m waiting for a Flo Rida track with Mutya and “Sandstorm”. Instantaneous global #1. I’m sure of it.
[5]
Additional scores
Martin Skidmore: [5]
Dave Moore: [6]
Jessica Popper: [8]
Martin Kavka: [4]
Hillary Brown: [7]