Sometimes, a tasteful black-and-white shot is the perfect choice. But sometimes…
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[7.21]
Doug Robertson: This is cartoon music. Which might sound like an insult, but it’s the only way to sum up the glorious Technicolor cacophony of staccato sounds that fill this track like rainbows in a dull sky. Cheerleader chants clash with synthy strings and an ADHD beat, coming together so beautifully that it makes you wonder whether oil and water could, with time, learn to get along.
[8]
Anthony Easton: An anthology of the decade’s most obnoxious trend; we have figured out that it is possible to be nostalgic for the future, can we now be nostalgic for the present?
[9]
Iain Mew: I love the sound of the marching drums and the harpischord. I love how unpredictable this is, with stuff like the stuttering ‘uh-huh uh-huh’ and the ballad section emerging out of nowhere without disrupting the overall structure and flow. Most of all, I love the way that the singers tear into it, totally determined to grab the moment, and it’s the infectious enthusiasm which makes it more than just an impressive pile-up of big ideas.
[9]
Frank Kogan: The beat hops along to a martial electroshuffle, as young women throw darts in lovers’ eyes, and in each other’s, and everyone else’s, along with inkjets, paint bombs, and colored smoke. Totally pretty, totally ferocious. Then in the middle eight they get stunningly dreamy and gorgeous. Then they go back to smashing piñatas.
[9]
Mallory O’Donnell: This would sound a whole lot better if it didn’t just sound like everything, ever.
[3]
Alex Macpherson: I’ve never been able to get with K-pop or J-pop: it’s too superficially similar to Western pop, but the way it’s slightly off is plasticky and unappealing rather than an interesting route into it. It’s a bit like those unappetising plates of artificial food in the windows of Japanese restaurants. “Bang!” has a slamming, martial beat, but After School’s vocals are just too high-pitched and cutesy to ride it with panache.
[4]
Martin Skidmore: I know bugger all about Korean music, despite my pal Kogan sounding so excited about it. This lot sound like fun, though, punchy and bright, with hip hop beats and yelling and rapping and pop singing all thrown together in ways that might for all I know be the norm there but sound strange here. Very enjoyable, and maybe I need to pay more attention to Kogan’s enthusiasms in future.
[8]
Chuck Eddy: Been trying to make sense of all the Korean exclamation-point bubblegum on the most recent Frank’s Eardrums CD-Rs — these people, Rainbow, IU, DJ Doc, E.via — and I’m definitely liking almost all of it and loving some; a major topic for future research for sure, and given more time to live with them, E.via’s speed-rapped “Shake!” or (even more so) Pikachu/Tom Tom Club mutation “Pick Up! U!” might well have a shot at my 2010 singles Top 10. It’s been years, maybe decades, since American hits had toddler-appeal on that level (though Far*East Movement could be turning a tide). I’d rank this below E.via; doesn’t strike me as much like a whole new thing, closer to mere real good foreign-language approximation of Western pop. But the lead bang-bang-bangs and huh-huh-huhs and backup shouts are still awesome, and it bops with energy to spare.
[8]
John Seroff: It takes a lot to trigger my shame reflex, but damn if this doesn’t come close. “Bang!” is a K-pop garble of ESL chorus, boisterous marching band and a double-varnished Harlequin romance coda shoehorned between Korean pep rally chanting and an uncanny facsimile of Kid Sister. The result is the most remarkable hash of Nicole Scherzinger, Stomp The Yard, Making of the Band and kimchi but quelle surprise (et embarrass) it somehow works. In fact, it works a little too well; I blushingly caught myself unconsciously pop-locking on a crowded subway platform to the UH-HUH/UH-HUH/ UH-HUH/UH-HUH break. For what’s unmistakably a studio creation, After School are bustling with unlikely life and fun.
[8]
Josh Langhoff: Brings me back to the heady days of the Bring It On soundtrack, which I was convinced would illuminate some nascent bubble-underground and usher in a euphoric age of insanely shiny global pop supremacy. (Though I think B*Witched was as “global” as the made-in-USA BIO ventured). Probably my “euphoric age” will remain perpetually out of reach; probably it’d feel more oppressive than euphoric. But if history tells us anything, it’s that trying and failing to live up to such impossible ideals can produce some nifty side-effects. Speaking of: my word, is that a harpsichord? And then, after all the hot-stepping percussion and the smooth breakdown, we get ACTUAL STEPPING SOUNDS. I have no idea what this song’s about, but it SOUNDS like hot cheerleaders flipping through the air, competitively. It’s an image that might look oppressive to that portion of the student body who aren’t hot and can’t flip. But one of the joys of pop is that you don’t have to pass its practitioners in the halls.
[9]
Jonathan Bogart: It certainly rushes and clatters, but the Pacific Ocean may be too wide for me to hear any sense of purpose in it. Not that purpose is necessary; making noise is its own reward, and hearing “Hollaback Girl” and Britney’s schoolgirl whooshes echo back from the other side of the world is its own pleasure. I just wish I heard a voice as particular as Britney’s or Gwen’s.
[7]
Katherine St Asaph: There are eight performers in After School, and the mix is just as crowded, as if all eight insisted their ideas made the final mix. You’ve got a chorus with harpsichords, cheerleader chants, rapping and what sounds unfortunately like the Warcraft soundtrack played on an old Yamaha, verses that lay teen R&B over the shuffling marching drums from “Lose My Breath,” subsequent verses and choruses mixing and matching them all, and an unexpectedly pretty bridge that sprouts, unexpectedly again, RedOne synths and belter’s melisma. It’s vaguely martial and all, in the Idol sense where “only thing you have is being pretty” qualifies as a battle cry (unless Youtube’s translations led me astray, which is entirely possible). It’s also kind of a mess.
[5]
Alex Ostroff: Propulsive and martial in a way that female-fronted pop music hasn’t been since the middle of last decade. The creepy Transylvanian organ intro enhances the delightful anything-goes vibe of this. The only things holding it back are the memories of “Hollaback Girl” summoned by the chorus, and the fact that Willow’s ‘Whip My Hair’ pulls off most of these tricks while sounding both less juvenile and more fun.
[8]
Zach Lyon: For some reason, I can’t stop hearing a certain Justin/Timbaland track that I can’t put my finger on (4 Minutes?) and the Hollaback Girl parts are nice. I haven’t listened to much k-pop in my life!
[6]