It was hard to get them all in one frame, so here’s some graffitied drums instead.
[Video][Website]
[4.00]
Brad Shoup: The claps and clops are the best thing going; presumably it’s the sound of ragtag urchins hightailing it home. Second-best would be member Chantelle’s opening verse, with its lack of affectation and its concern with fair labor practices. Actually, after that first verse I was hoping a passel of mall-haunting teenage girls had been given a one-time major-label gift, but no, it’s just an eager dance crew. Evidently the song-about-clubbing has such primacy, even the scatterbrained aftermath has taken on a celebratory patina. Pass.
[2]
Katherine St Asaph: You are not Ke$ha; you do not need to one-up her with glitter in both your eyes. You are not David Guetta or the Peas; you do not need to imitate their stomp without their scope. You are not great singers; you do not need to spread thin layers of melisma over the bridge. This probably isn’t even your best damn night; if you said or sung this at a party, the guests would politely head-bob the minutes until the next proper song.
[2]
Iain Mew: Yes, another synth heavy, mildly boshing, amazing night out. Plus, “Woke up with glitter in both my eyes”? Looks like someone’s been playing Ke$ha Mad Libs! Still, at least they sound like they’re actually having fun doing it, which raises this above Pixie Lott standards.
[5]
Michaela Drapes: I was just thinking to myself that what the pop scene was missing was a dance crew who could (sort of) sing. (Ok, actually, I didn’t, but humor me.) Unfortunately, the producers of this track broke a cardinal rule of shepherding this kind of group to stardom: simple arrangements, lots of unison singing. There’s some of the latter here, mostly on the choruses, which totally work in that Spice Girls/Pussycat Dolls/SClub7/Steps/A*Teens-Super Junior “Everybody SING!” kind of way. The problem is that the whiz-bang production doesn’t do their thin voices any favors, but rather enhances the fact that none of them have any musicality outside of dancing.
[2]
Jonathan Bogart: Awww, it’s the new My First Black-Eyed Peas!
[5]
Edward Okulicz: It’s possible to do this sort of thing correctly. But you need siren noises, and probably Wiley, or Booty Luv, or someone like that. Sorry guys.
[1]
Zach Lyon: Oh heavens this is wonderful to listen to. 90% because of that sound which I think is supposed to be dancing (had no idea this was a dance crew the first twenty times I listened so I originally thought it was a bad handclap preset) which actually sounds like fake horse galloping sound. And, really, I love their rapping, but I’m partial to stupid pop rap. And the melodic parts are pure how-can-your-ears-not-dig-this sweetness. Black Eyed Peas comparisons are obvious, but this has a lot more energy and fun about it than any BEP, who always sound too old to pull it off. It’s mostly that sound though, it steels every second of the song upright.
[8]
Jer Fairall: In which six British kids offer up proof that there is no reason that Black Eyed Peas songs need to suck so bad, this particular mixture of big dumb hooks and an unbridled “let’s par-tay” enthusiasm is truly infectious. I do wish that the monolithic synth hooks, when they do kick in, weren’t so faceless, but no single I’ve heard since “Swagger Jagger” sounds this so completely sure of itself that I’m convinced it’ll become a hit through sheer force of will.
[7]