Congratulations, Travie McCoy, on your highest Jukebox score to date…
[Video][Website]
[5.55]
Anthony Easton: “Fuck Me” is better than “Love Me,” in the same way that “Fuck You” is better than “Forget You.” I like this better than other attempts at girl group harmonics of late, maybe because it’s English, but they still haven’t quite figured out what they want to be, and how they want to acheive it. By extension, while some of the elements are there (the “baby, baby baby” choruses) the whole thing is still a bit of a mess.
[6]
Iain Mew: “Forget You” and “Dedication to My Ex” worked fine in their censored single forms and could easily be heard without realising what you were missing. Those originals were also well known and available. “Fuck Me” has now finally shown up on YouTube, but Stooshe themselves seem in no rush to promote it, so my score is for “Love Me”. Which is a song entirely based on sex jokes with those sex jokes removed and replaced with annoying ad-libs. It’s an utterly frustrating song which acts like it’s scandalising but doesn’t clue you in on how — it’s no exaggeration to say that without seeking out the other version, “Love Me” makes no sense at all. This is all a shame because they’re quite funny sex jokes and “Fuck Me” actually makes me understand Stooshe’s appeal more than their previous single did. Oh yeah, “Love Me” also throws in Travie McCoy as an additional reason not to listen.
[2]
Brad Shoup: I could probably listen to them ad-lib for hours at a stretch. Like, if there was a Having Fun with Stooshe on Stage, I’d already own it. But this is OK, too. Whoever’s coaching them in the booth has earned their pop medal — I can’t even imagine how you bring these three from that contralto scooping to mimicking a trebly guitar lick to quoting Bieber. Travie’s fine if you take your Craigslist casual encounters with a side of bullshit. How did all these R&B revivalists forget how raunchy that shit was? If there be justice, “Motivation” will jump in a hole out of shame.
[9]
Michaela Drapes: Even cleaned up and Travie-enhanced, the mainstream radio-ready version of this track is still probably the best thing I’ve heard in eons — a spicy and spliced and updated combo of “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)” and “Shoop” that’s charmingly juvenile and filthy and silly. Could there be anything more perfect? BTW, one jillion extra points for having the baby dyke do the safe sex verse.
[10]
Alex Ostroff: “Love Me” is inferior to the uncensored version in every way except one: “You can adore me on Sunday” is better than “explore me.” Why? Because the only thing better than sex-positive girl-groups that reference En Vogue and promote condom use are sex-positive girl-groups that reference En Vogue, promote condom use and actively troll the Vatican. Every other discrepancy is a Travie-sty. More than anything else, there’s something incredibly unpalatable and hypocritical about censoring the lyrics of women who like sex for pleasure while using the new video to debut a new “sexier” image for America. Still, the enthusiasm and charisma of StooShe can’t be denied. There’s nu-TLC potential here, and I’m not sure if I can give that less than a [7], even on ideological grounds.
[7]
John Seroff: There’s a lot of Amy writ small all over “Love Me” in the bubblegum Fauxtown production and the hip-hop-by-way-of-Etta-James attitude. There’s an equally healthy dose of Prince with the Lady Cab Driver bookends, the Vanity 6 attitude, the IV drip of wacky funk, the constant spoken asides and horny cackles. This much sass generally gives me a rash but the bubbly spontaneity of Stooshe’s effortlessly upbeat screeching and twittering is sweetly endearing enough that McCoy’s pointless guest spot smarts much less than it should.
[8]
Jonathan Bradley: I’d say that the sassiness doesn’t prevent “Love Me” from sounding like a Levi’s commercial, but I think the sassiness is part of why this sounds like a Levi’s commercial.
[2]
Jer Fairall: Tepid, flavourless UK pop that feels about fifteen years past its sell-by date: call them the Cilantro Girls.
[3]
Alfred Soto: The hybrid we always wanted: Christina Aguilera and UK pop.
[3]
Sabina Tang: I would warm to this more freely (good corny house-party bop potential) if it weren’t trying to be jokey. That and the bad rap have already worn thin after three listens.
[5]
Katherine St Asaph: “You know what that bawdy, fun-drenched [9] of a pop song needed? Bowdlerization and Travie McCoy.” – nobody
[6]