It’s World Cup Day at the Jukebox, and we’re going to have a ball!
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[4.55]
Anthony Easton: Aside from Ricky Martin’s “The Cup of Life,” that one featuring Hall without Oates, and maybe 2010’s R. Kelly one, the official World Cup songs have a monetized, anonymous quality — somewhere between UN-sponsored culture programs and that World of Coke display at Disney. Also, it suggests a career that has settled into the institutional middle ground, and J. Lo’s relationship to that is fraught — choosing to do American Idol, quitting American Idol, her last single with Wisin. Lastly, Pitbull is really internationally hot right now, but less friendly and less bland than Martin in his heyday. I don’t know why he agreed to do this. It’s not terrible, but it seems not even interesting to yell in a stadium. I don’t feel inspired.
[5]
Iain Mew: If you’re doing the official theme for the football World Cup, there’s obviously an incentive to keep things as broad and generalisable as possible. The effect is audible in the competent but unexciting musical approach of “We Are One”, but it’s the lyrics that suffer from it worst. All of the references to “one night” leave the song stranded in a useless middle ground, with too much football to suit the club, but now only fitting as a theme for the World Cup final instead of the World Cup finals.
[4]
Mallory O’Donnell: It’s a FIFA song! It’s a Pitbull song! Can a song have more than one sell-by date?
[4]
Alfred Soto: OK, so what, it’s got flamenco guitar. And? It still has Pitbull doing his tired tubthumping nonsense in Marlins Stadium, which besides using stupid catch phrases signifying “Latin-ness” means segueing from melodic chorus to bass drum-anchored subhuman verses. As much fun as a trip to ICU.
[1]
David Sheffieck: Pitbull sounds discordantly deadpan on the hook (“One, love, life” in particular), but otherwise this is so overwhelmingly positive and simple to get swept up in that I feel like a bad person for giving it less than a ten. Which is, I’m sure, exactly the point — so, bumped up two points for achieving the Platonic ideal of its very specific purpose.
[6]
Thomas Inskeep: This isn’t as bad as most Pitbull records are, thanks to its partially-redemptive chorus (the “ole ola” part, which is the only part of the song which strikes me as even remotely Brazilian). The verses, both from Pitbull and J-Lo, are their usual underbaked, overheated EDM-lite; Leitte’s verse is more interesting, but why does the singer who’s, y’know, actually Brazilian only get like 4 bars on the official World Cup song for the WC being held in Brazil? It’s un-Pitbull/J-Lo enough to reel in a few people who don’t like their stuff, but it’s still ultimately not very good, nor particularly entertaining. Still, this must be the best mark I’ve ever given one of his singles.
[4]
Brad Shoup: Nothing says unity like feature credits, y’know? There’s not enough Brazil here, of course, but that’s like complaining that Eurovision entries aren’t sufficiently national. The chorus is big, bordering on heroic. Everything else is Pit and Jenny trying to make three rhymes sound like 20, but when you’re aiming for a global audience, football or no, it’s nice to have basic sentence construction and a terrace-built hook.
[6]
Juana Giaimo: This song is a complete mess! The chorus is a failure at being catchy and celebratory and there is no cooperation nor coordination in between the three — how ironic for a song called “We Are One”.
[4]
Will Adams: Bubbling over with good ideas — the “ole ola” hook, Cláudia Leitte’s sudden and uplifting interjection, sweet guitars throughout — but without a wooden spoon to stir them together.
[5]
Scott Mildenhall: If having a perpetual “ft.” before your name should teach you anything it’s how to feel a part of something. Odd, then, that this is so disconnected. J.Lo is in another room to Pitbull, and Cláudia Leitte another country. Her jolting entrance is the best part, but she’s barely even there long enough to get an exit. Credited involvement from Private, Sia, RedOne, Cirkut and Dr. Luke suggests it may not exactly have been a one-take wonder, but also should have brought more thought.
[6]
Patrick St. Michel: I really don’t think anyone can expect an official World Cup song to do anything interesting. FIFA has a very specific message to sell about an event of this magnitude, and it has nothing to do with bribery scandals or zany sponsorship. Whatever song they choose is going to promote the idea of the World Cup bringing the world together, with a little localization thrown in for good measure (the exception being the time they turned to Vangelis). So it is appropriate they have handed the keys to a guy who can make Dr. Pepper sound like a lifestyle choice. “We Are One (Ole Ola)” is perfectly fine for the jock jam that it is, full of hollow pump-ups and some Brazilian touches. I will tolerate hearing this for the next month, and then never remember it again.
[5]