We’re not fond of Christmas, I guess.
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[3.22]
Anthony Easton: I hate Christmas. It makes me lonely and depressed. It reminds me that I loathe my family. Plus, I am really, really broke, and can’t afford Christmas presents this year. I am planning on getting drunk and crying. Also, if you are going to do the religious work, at least have one of those songs about Herod or Satan or Sin. Plus, Tyler Perry is a horrible human being.
[0]
Megan Harrington: Love, eat, pray, love, more love — it’s not my favorite holiday song dynamic (where’s the terror? where’s the doom? where’s the claustrophobic regret?) but I know Delilah is going to just love it, and I’m happy when she’s happy.
[5]
Micha Cavaseno: Christmas albums from people who aren’t good at singing defy logic in some ways, like OH MY DAYS, that ‘vocal solo’ by India at the end has me ready to denounce the holidays forevermore. And what was that Tyler Perry shout about, that man gets no burn after commissioning Chris Brown to butcher Donny Hathaway a decade ago. This whole record is such a mess, with only Tori Kelly trying to at least sing the material and not wheeze about providing any saving graces.
[1]
Thomas Inskeep: This song means well, but is so saccharine, not to mention clumsy. Hearing India.Arie cram the syllables for “time for Tyler Perry’s new movie” into the bridge is cringe-worthy, and much of these lyrics sound like they were written just for the sake of rhyming couplets. Arie’s voice is, as always, honeyed and warm, and Tori Kelly acquits herself fine, but “Favorite Time of Year” does them no favors.
[4]
Will Adams: Feel-good signifier salad that will stop at nothing to name at least one Christmas-related moment that you totally relate to. Everyone involved sounds like they’re only there under contractual obligation.
[2]
Brad Shoup: This isn’t one of the cuts Sample played on, but when Arie mentions “Uncle Joe” and his magic tricks, it’s quite possible she intends it as a tribute. Arie and Kelly genially run through the checklist — including, delightfully, a Tyler Perry shout-out — pausing twice to acknowledge loss. The smooth-jazz backing is sprightly and never mushy; they usher everyone out the door with well-meaning efficiency.
[5]
Josh Langhoff: The bridge moves from God to Tyler Perry in two moves, which feels accurate, given that my inlaws and I have rushed from reading Isaiah to watching a Grand Ole Opry video comp with the same speed. You gotta fill the time somehow.
[5]
Alfred Soto: A supermarket commercial from 1986, down to the synth fanfare.
[3]
Scott Mildenhall: Eerily sincere. For a song about how great Christmas is, it doesn’t have much of a sense of fun, not in any sense other than an immaculately planned one anyway. Christmas shouldn’t be this smooth. Of all the potential ingredients for a Christmas song, there’s no excitement, no sadness, no raised eybrow, no desperation, very little non-dead-eyed emotion. False nostalgia, perhaps, but little else. There often seems to be a gulf between the meanings of “Christmas music” in the US and the UK.
[4]