Forever’s all a fart, frankly.
[Video]
[3.00]
Austin Nguyen: If you ever thought people remembered and learned from 2020’s “Imagine” celebrity fiasco, Ashe and FINNEAS are here to prove you wrong, turning pandemic kumbayas into a wallowing romantic ballad that, (key word) allegedly, takes place on the precipice of an apocalypse — which is also, according to the music video, the best time to try your hand at a contemporary dance routine! As per usual, Ashe continues to bemoan her Californian existence, the potential for global-warming induced floods and earthquakes stirred into soporific declarations of love as if the parking lot of my high school weren’t literally built on the San Andreas Fault. FINNEAS would be less objectionable if he just spent one (1) extra brain cell of empathy to figure out how the line “I guess there’s nothing more romantic than dying with your friends” seems like it was penned by someone unaware of COVID’s hundred-thousand death toll (which, to be honest, would not be that surprising considering his advice to musicians starting out in the industry). And yet, here we are again, the world ending — which this song can’t do soon enough.
[1]
Juana Giaimo: This feels very scripted to me and lacking emotion. Musically, it sounds just like the indie-folk artists with cute vocals who added violins to everything. The epic intent of the song falls flat when you realize the lyrics are basically about being friends with your ex. Sure, it’s nice that they are singing about that instead of doing another sad or angry breakup song, but I can’t buy that pure and non-conflictive relationship that is also portrayed in the music video. And also, the line “I guess there’s nothing more romantic than dying with your friends” is cheesy and morbid at the same, which makes me really uncomfortable.
[4]
Samson Savill de Jong: idk man, this just sounds like a Coldplay song to me, especially when FINNEAS starts singing. I’m not sure I even mean that disparagingly, but I spend the entire runtime thinking that they’ve ripped it off almost entirely from other places. Not unpleasant to listen to, but utterly generic.
[5]
Andrew Karpan: Barren of chemistry or feeling, the pair know their limitations and take the misery out on Los Angeles, which falls precipitously into the sea, which is either fodder for a thinkpiece on climate change and pop music or an emotion copped from most early Decemberists records. But all this wailing is coming from inside the house: there’s something intimate and sad about the way Ashe’s voice delicately wraps itself around the melody from “Pure Imagination” and it’s the sound of exhaustion, a not so carefully-wrapped plea to care that’s neither camp or sincere enough to work. More songs we’ve heard before. To die by Billie Eilish’s brother’s side, what a heavenly way to…
[4]
Thomas Inskeep: In case you needed a reminder that not everything FINNEAS touches is, well, good, this ridiculous community-theater ballad is here for you.
[1]
Edward Okulicz: For a song that tries to evoke the finality of the end of the world and the hugeness of love that may defy it, this is incredibly white bread, and I crave something, anything between the slices. FINNEAS sounds like a fey 90s indie boy, which perhaps he picked up in the womb. Ashe sounds like she has no idea what she’s singing. Where the ~drama~ swells towards the end, honestly, it’s excruciating.
[2]
Aaron Bergstrom: Another useful data point supporting T.S. Eliot’s “not with a bang but a whimper” hypothesis. I guess I just thought the end of the world would be more interesting.
[4]