Make us refer to the Sale of Goods and Supply of Services Act, 1980…
[Video]
[5.12]
Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: It’s a perfectly adequate mid-tempo dance-pop song, but if you promise Belters Only you really ought to bring something more anthemic than this.
[5]
Tim de Reuse: Stony and brittle all the way through, from the austere chord progression to the antiseptic production; deep house by committee, with no sense of space or drama. Jazzy delivers the line “come on, twirl, woman” in a resigned mumble while daydreaming about clocking out for the day.
[3]
Scott Mildenhall: Progress: once upon a time you had to go the trouble of actually writing something like “come on, twirl, woman”, hiring a featured vocalist to sing it, and two dancers and a model to front it. These days you can just do it all with AI. Props to the artists involved for getting it off the ground, but how this is a hit in the real world and not that of a TV show without the budget to use real music in its club scenes is bewildering.
[3]
Alfred Soto: Just the kind of dancefloor fervor and compellingly anonymous vocal of which hundreds of classics have been made.
[9]
Thomas Inskeep: Yeah, it’s the kind of semi-cheesy pop-house that the UK and Ireland seem to have a cottage industry making right now — but at least it’s not based around a sample or loop from an earlier classic, and it doesn’t feature either a rising or falling pop diva on vocals. Jazzy is just anonymous enough to make this work.
[6]
Nortey Dowuona: The plunking piano chords idle around Jazzy as the synth strings wobble then evaporate while the heat of the bass and kicks burn down. Then the shimmering balls and flat snares slam down, then disappear as Jazzy swirls the piano and strings. Her flat and dry voice just drags across the top of the mix and only floats disembodied as each kick hits, finally fading away as the last chord plays.
[6]
Alex Clifton: Can a dance track be “restrained”? This song has so many moments where it really could’ve popped off and gone for a big, cathartic breakdown, but instead it doesn’t, just teasing the audience with the prospect of a drop. That’s fine if there is an eventual release but otherwise just ends up frustrating; not in a fun, sexy way, but in a “what a wasted opportunity” way. Shame, really. Amping this up a bit could’ve made it stellar.
[4]
Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Good, nice, not much else.
[5]