In which a hint of Adam Levine inspires the churl in us.
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[3.20]
Patrick St. Michel: Part of me wants to sit down whoever wrote the lyrics for this and be THAT GUY, either giving them a pep talk about how you have to love yourself before someone else can or being like “dude, you can think of a better come on then ‘I’m a sad baby, please have sex with me.'” But this is just super boring, a somehow more punchless Maroon 5.
[2]
Scott Mildenhall: Denise Welch and Tim Healy, Sgt June Ackland, now Shane Richie and Coleen Nolan — so often recently there’s been a daftness to British pop nepotism. It’s only all fun and games until this current crop of guitar-wielding boybands leads to another wave of landfill indie though (viz. The Busted-Twang Causation), and really that’s all going to be One Direction’s fault. These lot are already being angled on their songwriting when none of the songs on this one’s EP bear it, and that’s just another step on the road to a Pigeon Detectives revival. It’s a good song, why be so boring as to mislead?
[7]
Crystal Leww: I really thought this was a Maroon 5 song for the longest time, which I guess should tell you something about the enduring and lasting impact of Adam Levine of all people. Levine can be more charming than this though.
[5]
Alfred Soto: Adam Levine. Everywhere I turn it’s adenoidal kid-men playing at loutishness over bongwater guitar skank. This one has the effrontery to nod towards Rob Thomas’ excellent “Lonely No More.”
[1]
David Turner: I am gonna refuse* to look up whatever song “Me and My Broken Heart” samples. It’s probably Rob Thomas, but I don’t think I have ever actively thought about Rob Thomas, so I’m going to hold fast in not thinking about him. I am a sucker for love awful guitar songs that may or may not sound better if they were covered by a Spanish guitar, which is exactly what this song needs in addition to some new verses. *I did look. This does sample Rob Thomas. Fucking VH1core.
[5]
Katherine St Asaph: I am Jack’s Adam Levine pose. I am Jack’s Rob Thomas stare. I am Jack’s Magic! coattails.
[3]
Will Adams: The “Lonely No More” interpolation for the chorus only reinforces the notion that Hot AC once sold its soul to the devil for an immortality sustained by bland, vaguely-R&B/vaguely-rock/vaguely-everything music. I’m not sure how much more I can take.
[3]
Mallory O’Donnell: His heart might be broken, but those old Maroon 5 CDs carry on.
[3]
Brad Shoup: Wow… I’ve only heard this with the stereo turned down; I figured there was a new Maroon 5 song to tolerate. Singer Rixton has punchable cadence and reedy tenor; the band walks up to the neighborhood of reggae, only to shit in a bag, set it alight and leave it in the street. A definite contender for the Song of the Summer of Sam.
[1]
Thomas Inskeep: A boyband for people who love Maroon 5. This is smarmy, dishonest, and dull pop brought to you by Scooter Braun, the manager who’s ridden Justin Bieber all the way to the bank. Also, they don’t come across as teen dreams, more like 35-year-old pros taking one last crack at pop stardom.
[2]